James Pleiades hawkins

breakdown

~ writing this whilst having breakdown sooo. Also trans Jim hawkins. Jim and silver = father and son relationship~

Jim sat in the crows nest.

He'd been sat there for at least an hour and by now it was 11:30. You see the crows nest is the only place with any privacy on the ship. Well not for long.

He heard a voice from the deck.
"Jimbo?"
It was silver.
"I'm up here" the teen hissed.
A moment later silver was climbing up to him.

Jim wiped a tear from his eye just before silver could notice. Silver noticed.

"What's wrong lad?" The pirate enquired
"Nothing" Jim sniffed
"Are ya sure?" Silver asked sarcastically
Jim didn't reply. He just kept picking at the end of his fingers. A tear ran down his cheek.

There was an awkward silence.

"Y'know you can tell me anything jim..."
Silver said quietly
"I can't." The boy murmured
"You can." Silver tried to argue
" I CANT. I CANT TELL ANYONE! I don't want to worry them..." Jim suddenly burst out
"What do ya mean?"
" ITS ALL UP TO ME! I CANT TELL ANYONE BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE THERE OWN PROBLEMS TO WORRY ABOUT, TRUST ME I KNOW. NOTHING I DO IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH. IM A FAILURE. I USED TO BE THE PERFECT CHILD BUT I JUST FUCKED IT ALL UP!I I WAS THE PERFECT LITTLE GIRL BUT NOW FUCKING LOOK AT ME!!" He screamed tears streaming down his face.
" I can't do this anymore... I can't pretend it's all fine... I- "
"Jim listen to me" silver interrupted
"You are perfect, don't let anyone tell you differently. Now explain what's going on"
Jim sat down.
"I- I..."
"Take your time lad" silver said putting his hand on Jim's shoulder.
" Everyone depends on me. I have to help my mum since she has no one else to talk too . I'm the person my friends come to when they feel down or have anything going on in there life. I know all there problems and I feel like I can't tell them mine because they already have so much shit going on in there life. I feel like a disappointment because I used to be this gifted little girl who loved dresses and got all top marks and read books and never did anything wrong. Whatever I do now  I always get told by someone it's wrong and it's just all too much."
Jim explained through tears.
"Oh jimbo" silver sighed
"That's a lot for one boy to deal with, you're only 15 and you've already gone through so much... listen. I'm proud of you. You're not a failure and you can tell me whenever anything is stressing you... I'm guessing I haven't helped that much with the early mornings and making you do all the work by yourself. Look tomorrow you're having a rest day."
" a what?" The teen questioned
"A rest day: you can sleep in, I'll make you breakfast and we're stopping off in a town tomorrow so if you want to go shopping or see a show we can do that, just you and me." A noise came from his pocket
"And morph of course"
Jim chuckled
"Does that sound alright lad?"
"Yeah, that sounds great" Jim yawned
"Well you better be getting so sleep don't ya think." Silver said
"I guess" Jim said "thanks dad"
He looked up shocked that didn't mean to come out. Shit he messed it all up.
"Dad ay? Well goodnight.. son" silver said with a smile.

Jim hugged him. Silver hugged back.

Hopefully things would get better from here.