Kacchan

Prologue

"Why is Kacchan always so mean to me?"

I can hear Deku talking to the Old Hag before I even round the corner from the dining room into the kitchen. Why exactly am I so mean to him? Deku's the only person who's ever stuck around. My other "friends" only ever stick around to watch me tease and bully the green haired boy who I grew up with, but as soon as they get bored, they'll stop hanging around me, forcing me to find some new "friends" to spend my time with. The only person who stays by my side is fucking Deku.

I can hear his tears as Deku cries. I feel bad because I know I'm the one who led him to those tears, but I can't ever seem to stop treating him like that. Every time I try to say something nice, it comes out as an insult. Why? Why exactly do I do it? He's so much kinder than me, and he'd make a great hero, if only he had been the one born with a quirk. Deku deserves a quirk so much more than I do. All I've been since mine manifested was a horrible, no good, bully. I'm not hero material, no matter how much I want to be a hero, but Deku isn't either. His personality fits for a hero, but he doesn't have a quirk.

I've been trying to dissuade the damn nerd from trying to become a hero since we found out that he's quirkless. I just didn't want to see something happen to him, but the more he persisted, the more hurtful I got to him. If something were to happen to Deku, I don't know what I'd do. He means more to me than anyone else, and I just can't accept what would happen if he were to actually become a hero, and some villain were to kill him. I can't even begin to think about that. That's why I started bullying him, and hurting him. I wanted to do whatever I could to dissuade him from trying to become a hero, but it hasn't worked yet. It's been like this for the past ten years, and he's still determined to become a hero.

Why do I even care so much. It's not like he means that much to me, right? He's been there for me since we were in diapers. He's kept my biggest secret for me since we started going to Aldera. He's always just been there. What would I even do if he wasn't there? Would I even be happy without him?

"Why do you always have to make Izuku cry, brat?" the old hag asks me once Deku has finally left the house.

I shrug, still mulling over that question myself. "How else can I convince him to give up on becoming a hero?"

The hag's eyes soften a little. "He's never going to give up on that dream, kid. Inko and I gave up on the idea of changing his mind a long time ago."

"But what if he gets himself killed because he's not strong enough to handle it?" I don't know why, but I feel tears starting to run down my face. "He should think about how that would make Auntie feel, how that would make you feel..." I trail off for a moment before adding in an almost whisper, "How I would feel."

At this point I'm actually crying. I haven't cried since I was little, so the feeling of it is almost foreign to me.

"Katsuki," the hag sighs. "Do you have feelings for Izuku?"

I shake my head. That can't be. That's not why I'm so worried about him, is it? No, if I truly had feelings for Deku, I wouldn't treat him the way I do. I wouldn't. Would I?

"I'll leave you to think about that."

The hag pushes me gently as if telling me to go somewhere, so I head up to my room to think about the question that she asked me. I've never had to ponder this question before, but now that I'm thinking about it, what happens if I come to the conclusion that I do like Deku? He'd never like me back, not after how I've treated him for most of our lives.

The next day in school, I have to stop myself from staring at Deku multiple times throughout the day. I've never noticed myself looking at him, but it causes me to start wondering just how often I accidentally stare at the green haired boy I've known my entire life.

"Kacchan, is everything okay?" Deku asks me at lunch time.

If I hadn't already been hyper aware of where he is at all times, I probably wouldn't have noticed him due to how deep in thought I've been all day.

"Everything's fucking fine, Nerd," I growl. I instantly regret my choice of words and tone, but I've trained myself to react like that to him.

"Y-you've just been qu-quiet today. It's n-not like you."

"I'm fucking fine, Deku. Don't worry about me."

Despite my aggression and assurance, Deku refuses to leave my table. He just sits there in silence as he eats. The longer we sit like that, the more I start to realize just how nice it is to spend time with Deku and not be yelling at him. It's peaceful.

As we sit there, I think about what it would be like to have Deku near me like this all the time, to just be around him and not yell and explode every second of every day. That reality feels so much more preferable to the one I currently live in where I'm just a no good bully with Deku as my victim. Then I think about Deku finding someone to settle down with, and my anger returns. No one else can have my Deku. Fuck, I do have feelings for the damn nerd, but what do I do? How do I interact with him. I've only ever known how to yell and scream at him. With this new problem in mind, I continue the school day, still glancing at Deku periodically.

The damn teacher just had to bring up our high school plans now. I haven't fully started the process of learning to be calm around Deku, and now I have to be reminded about his ambition to become a hero. He'll end up killing himself in the process.

"Just stay out of my way, Deku." I glower at the other boy. Fuck, I'm such an idiot, but I can't have him going to UA and trying to be a hero. He'll get himself killed that way. "I'm going to be the only one from this shitty school to go to UA, you got that!?"

Deku starts to explain about how being a hero has been his dream since he was little. He knows I already know this crap. We grew up together. We had agreed that I would become the number one hero and he would be the number two. It was our goal, but then we found out that he's quirkless. He can't be allowed to become a hero like this. It won't work. He'll get himself killed.

Without thinking about my wording, I do my best to plead with him, while also acting menacing for the sake of the idiots behind me. "If you wanna be a hero so badly, why don't you do us all a favor and skip a step. You're gonna get killed without a quirk anyways. Take a fucking swan dive off the roof? Do us all the favor of not having to constantly worry about you later."

Deku doesn't respond, he just pushes past me, and runs into the hallway. I don't dare follow after what I just said. The idiots clap me on the back, congratulating me on getting him to run off, but I completely ignore them. I feel numb. What the fuck did I just do. What if he actually does it? No, this is Deku I'm thinking about. He wouldn't do something like that, would he? Everything around me feels like it's moving in slow motion up until the point when I hear someone scream.

I rush outside to see what's going on with a very bad feeling settling like a pit in my stomach. Please don't be what I think it is. Please. I'm going to get outside, and Deku is going to be standing near whoever screamed, making sure that they're okay. Yeah. Deku's going to be standing there, perfectly fine. Nothing will be wrong.

As soon as I get out of the building, I see a crowd standing by the side of the building, but I don't see a familiar head of green hair amongst the people standing there. Maybe he was the first over there, and all the taller students are just blocking my view of him. I push my way through the crowd before stopping dead in my tracks. No. Please no. It can't be. No matter how much I try to pretend that I'm not looking at exactly what's in front of me, I can't deny the truth in front of my eyes.

I as good as killed Deku myself.