I'm Billie. Just turned 20, and am in a crisis.
It's 7 PM. I sighed and threw my notebook into my bed. Damn was it boring here. It gives me lots of time to think though. My ex, Que, has been hinting that he's wanted to see me for sometime. I don't even know what I should do. I try to find every reason to avoid him, I think I'm just scared. Scared of being hurt.
It's been sometime since we saw each other, I've been away with Matthew. I really do want to see Que, but I've found I'm happiest with Matthew. Even if I were happier with Que, all I care about is that I'm happy now, and not with Que. I mean finally, I've found how to be happy without Que in my life. But as time went on I realized I'm really not happy. I have the world, I spent hours trying to find why I wasn't happy, and sure enough. It was him. The only reason I broke up with him was because I depended on him too much, I realized he didn't want what I did. But was I going to see him again? Most likely.
We would text, we still supported one another as friends of course. There's been times where I've blocked him. For valid reasons though! He'd warn me about Matthew, and how he's using me. I know he's just jealous.
But no matter what he said, I still wanted him.
My phone interrupted my reminiscing, when I had a notification. How convenient! Que texted me, great.
Q
Yo
B
What's up
Q
Duchi wanted me to tell you we setting up a get together, he said I could invite whoever that we all know.
Damn, now what. I honestly miss Duchi, and the squad in general, those are my people. It's not like I'll have to talk to Que the whole time, my friends are there too. I guess I could do this. And we've had these before, it's just our small circle.
B
Sure, when?
Q
Tonight, 10PM.
B
I'll be there, see you then.
Q
Ight bye.
I wondered, how we went from "Bye, I love you." To just "Ight bye.", we've changed a lot haven't we. That's why I went back to my black hair, I wanted to go back to happier times. And now I was supposed to get ready, it'll take me an hour, and Duchi's Avenue is 17 minutes away, I had time.
I waddled into my closet, picking out black cargo pants, and a Reckless Scholars hoodie, a tank top underneath. And some Ricks, I knew they were gonna have them on. I felt musty, even though I'm not I didn't feel clean. I decided to take a shower.
I used an exfoliator, and shaved. I was acting like I was getting ready for an appointment, jeez. I have to smell good for my friends though, I have to smell bomb around anybody.
2 Hours After Her Shower
I added some mascara to my eyelashes, and highlighter to my nose. I grabbed some rings too, shoving through them to see which ones I would wear. I couldn't find any, so I went to my other set of rings, my important ones. I took them out, my pupils expanded when I saw it. The bunny ring. Honestly a downside of breaking up with him was we couldn't wear our sick ass matching jewelry. I slowly slid it on my pointer finger, exactly where I would wear it. It fit even better than I remember. I quickly snapped out of it and slid it off, putting it back in its place. I got it together, and put on rings. Then chains.
At Duchis
I sighed, walking up to his door, with my hood up. Duchi answered, a smile reaching his face. "Bil! What's up?" He said, opening his arms for a hug. "My god, I missed you bro!" I said, patting his back.
Everybody else came up greeting me. Prince raised his eyebrows when he saw me, he looks so grown now. I ran up to him, jumping on him and hugging him. "Mama! You heavy damn!" He said, setting me down. I missed Prince so so much, I would vent to him about everything. Mainly about Que, I had so much trust in him. I hugged Gawa, and we all went to the living room. There sat Que on the couch, eyes glued to the TV screen. I was behind all the guys, so he probably didn't see me, he was playing 2k. "Que." Duchi pushed his shoulder. "Man fuck out." Que groaned, gripping the controller. I went in front of the guys, and around the couch, then he noticed me. His eyes quickly left the TV, and met mine.
