Awful Happy Tree Friends Oneshots

50 Shades Of Brown

(AN: I have never read or watched 50 shades of grey even once in my entire life I just watched the trailer and it hurt me to put effort in this) Nutty was your everyday average squirrel. If having bright green fur and a bad compulsive disorder was normal for a squirrel. "Contrary to popular believe, addiction and compulsion are two very different things as one has withdrawal symptoms and the other is more of a bad habit. Studies have shown that sugar in of itself is not addictive, however has addictive qualities that tend to lure people into eating it more often than recommended. Most Americans eat more than 5 times the suggested amount of sugar per day." Nutty typed in an argumentative essay he was writing for his college class. However never linked to any real sources, Sometimes even projecting bias.

"A widely spread piece of misinformation is that sugar is bad for the body and teeth, which is clearly not the case. Tooth decay is determined by the duration of contact to sugar rather than the sugar intake. If the teeth are brushed normally, the likelihood of tooth decay is also decreased. The benefits of sugar is the glucose for the brain and the energy it provides for the bod-"

Nutty gets a call from someone, He picks up his smartphone and sees Lumpy is calling him, which is rare, so he picks up. "Nutty.. I don't normally ask this of you.. and like.. *sniff* I know you're busy, but I'm really sick so can you fill in for my interview at my new job? I think you'd like it.. *COUGH*" Nutty's confused. "Why.. do you think I'd like it exactly?" Lumpy took a long, congested breath before continuing. "It's... a candy shop. They usually have a lot of duds so you can eat them for free basicall-" Nutty's heart dropped but in a good way. He shouted "SAY NO MORE TEXT ME THE ADDRESS! DO IT DO IT DO IT!" Standing on the chair bouncing up and down like a little kid. He couldn't wait. He completely forgot about his essay.

The day arrives and he wears a suit to impress the employers, although it's very wrinkly. He's really nervous, but also excited. This was a huge opportunity for him. He does his affirmations and deep breathing before finally walking in, the door making a bell jingle. "Hello hey hi umm? I'm... Here for the interview?" Nutty said in a quite voice for once. Giggles was at the counter. "Yes, Nutty? Filling in for Lumpy?" "Mmhm!" Nutty nodded. "Great. Ms. Heart will see you now. It's in this room right here." Giggles sits up and guides Nutty through a hallway of different rooms. Strangely professional for a minimum wage candy shop. The room was at the very end of the hallway, and Giggles slowly opens the double sided doors. Nutty eagerly sits in front of the desk and the swivel chair turns slowly toward him, revealing the chocolate box boss.

There she was. Her figure was gorgeous with her wide curves and the beautiful purple heart on the center of her body. Her thick lid was even more impressive to Nutty. "She's... Polite, Intense... And almost intimidating.." Nutty thought. "Nutty.." Ms. Heart spoke. "I'd like to know more about you." Nutty gulped and stared at the floor. "There's... Not that much to know about me. I mean just look at me-" Ms. Heart leaned closer to him without breaking eye contact. "I am." The interview goes well and Nutty got the job. He made every excuse to go to her office. Each day their conversations got deeper and deeper, but Ms. Heart was still a mystery to him. "So tell me, what do you do... Outside of work?" Nutty asks. "I was thinking... We could hang out sometime like, together?" Nutty asks sheepishly. The scarlet red box of chocolate scoots closer next to him. "Well... It's something you wouldn't understand.." Nutty held her invisible hand. "..enlighten me then, Ms. Heart."

Nutty looks at her with half shut eyes and a smirk. "Please.. Just call me Heart." Slowly, they lean in and shut their eyes for a tender kiss, and then another. They soon start exploring each other's mouths. Nutty loved the taste of her rich, chocolate flavored tongue, and brings the kiss in much deeper. Heart can't help but love Nutty's lollipop and cotton candy taste. They spend a good amount of time on that office couch switching each other's sweet spit. Nutty, breathing heavily, pulls away to catch some air, a string of sticky drool still connecting their lips. "So... Are you sure you're ready to see what I'm all about?" Asked Heart. Nutty takes a breath and licks the rest of the saliva off his lips. "Yes.." he says out of breath. "Good." Heart grazes an invisible hand up Nutty's thigh, and holds his inner thigh gently. "I don't do romance." Heart proceeded to stroke the soft fur on his leg with her thumb. Nutty couldn't hide his arousal. It doesn't help that Nutty doesn't wear pants. His throbbing, red cock stood out from his green coat. It was almost humiliating.

Heart takes notice pretty quickly and loves what she sees. She gets off the couch and kneels in front of Nutty, without taking her hand off his thigh. She travels her hand up his leg as he gets more and more sensitive, eventually wrapping her fingers around his shaft with a firm grip. Nutty let's out a premature moan of pure anticipation, preparing for her movements, but, it's not happening. Nutty looks at her, confused and desperate. She laughs. "You think I'm just gonna give it to you? Just like that? Nooo... I gotta better plan for you honey." Heart says in a sweet, soothing tone. "C'mon, I gotta better place for you!" Nutty, using his jacket to hide his erection, goes into Heart's car and sits in shotgun. While buckled in he takes off the jacket to let himself loose. He tries to get rid of his boner but is stopped by Heart. "Tch. Not on my watch!". She pulls out handcuffs from the glovebox and forces his hands behind his back before cuffing him, forcing him exposed and unable to touch himself.

Nutty nervously pants. The story is getting too long, and he couldn't wait after the car ride. His long throbbing member started pressing up against his stomach. For what seemed like hours, they finally made it to her house. Her living room decor was very modern and very tasteful. But she had another room, a room full of deep dark desires. She slowly opens the door, which made a creaking sound, and flicks on the light to reveal the most complex sex dungeon ever seen. Machines and toys he couldn't comprehend. He was so excited he ran up to one of them bouncing up and down. "THIS ONE THIS ONE WHAT DOES IT DO CAN I TRY IT CAN I TRY IT?" Heart smirks. "Of course, my sugar squirrel. It's a stretch rack." He straps him up in what looked like a velvet, high arm chair but with a wide cut in the bottom by the ankles and wrists. "Gee, um.. this doesn't look like it's meant for stretching limbs. I wonder what it does!" Heart smirks and puts a cock ring over his dick and fluffy balls. "It's a ball stretcher." She abruptly hooks a 3 pound weight on the hook of the ring. Nutty utters a high pitched scream along with crazed nervous laughter (like when he got impaled that one episode). It was music to her ears. Despite the seemingly agonizing pain, Nutty prematurely came, a lot even. "Well, that was a little fast!" Heart giggles. She releases Nutty, while he's still panting, and unstrapped him. "C'mon, why don't we just cuddle on the couch after such a busy day?" Nutty and Heart sit on the luxury sofa and they watch The Food Network for the rest of the night. While heart loved seeing him in pain, she loved feeling his soft fur just as much, and drifted to sleep. The end.