We Had To Kiss... Had To {HamishxRandall}

Chapter 3

I stiffened in a minuscule way when I heard Hamish's footsteps approaching the front door. I could tell the others sensed it, but they decided not to comment, continuing on with the conversation instead.

"I'm sick of the lying," Lilith growled, but I could hear the underlying hurt. She really did care about this girl- whatever her name was.

Hamish waltzed into the room, and I was careful to avoid his eyes. Or more accurately, looking at him in general.

"I just want to go back to normal," I whined with an exaggerated moan, sinking further into the cushions with the weight of the words. Because I really, really meant them. I wished we could go back to before. Before we lost our memories, before we were inducted into the order of the blue rose, before we had to pretend to be what we weren't... and before Hamish kissed me.

"And come back home," Jack agreed, looking around the room and wishing we could all live here again.

"Orders up!" Hamish announced as he set the food on the table and beelined for his bar.

I zipped over to the delicious scent that was wafting from the bags and started unpacking it all- now that it was safely across the room from him. Not to be helpful mind you, but purely for my own motives.

"I'm staaarrvving," I drew the word out dramatically, throwing my head back as I said it and inevitably thrusting my hips forward.

"Surprise, surprise," Hamish laughed. The sound sent little slivers of pain into my skin.

I knew if I looked at him I'd see the lighthearted gleam in his eye, but I couldn't do that yet. I opted to greedily hoard my favourites instead, collapsing back into my spot on the couch and immediately stuffing my face.

The room fell into an unusual silence as we ate, and I knew it was my fault.

It dragged out, the only sound being our chewing and some angry huffing that only seemed to be getting louder.

TALK TO TUNDRA, Greybeard demanded.

I choked on a nacho at the force of his demand. I gritted my teeth and exhaled loudly through my nostrils.

Greybeard... I warned, locking my jaw. We're so not having this conversation again.

"Okay, THATS IT!" Jack yelled, throwing a fry back into his pile. He glanced between Hamish and I heatedly. "What's the hell is going on with you two?"

"Nothing," I answered instantly, and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Nothing?" Hamish scoffed in a tone that was a combination of hurt and anger. "So you avoiding me at all costs the past few days is simply... nothing."

"I'm not avoiding you," I denied, my eyes firmly on my plate of wings and nachos. Hamish laughed a humourless laugh at my words. Yes you are, I heard in my thoughts from my other half.

"Randall," Jack gritted through his teeth. I looked up at him with a glare.

"What Jack?! What!" I shouted, setting my plate aside as I felt Greybeard try to rise to the surface. My eyes flashed and I stood from my seat menacingly.

"Randall," Lilith said quietly, coming to stand in front of me in a gentle way that she didn't show often.

"Don't you start," I said angrily, and I meant it. She didn't get to reject me and then pretend to have an insiders look into my thoughts and feelings. "Don't," I said again, and this time my words had a double voice as Greybeard agreed with me. She'd hurt us both.

That seemed to do it, because her eyes fell to the floor and she moved aside.

"I'm going for a run," I said, starting for the door.

"Oh no you don't," Hamish snapped, slipping between me and the door. I growled at the mans chest in warning.

"Come on Randall, sort your shit!" Jack demanded with a sigh, before him and Lilith left through the back door.

Giving us privacy I suppose.

Great. Just great.

Talk to Tundra, Greybeard was insistent, but not demanding. He knew how I really felt anyway, knew I did desperately want to talk to him.

"Randall..." Hamish started in his deep voice, and I just knew he was chewing on his lip.

"What?" I asked in a cutting voice, my eyes couldn't help moving to his shapely neck. The one my hands had found so easily when we kissed.

"What's wrong?" He murmured in a silky voice, and his hand came to rest on my shoulder.

His touch sent an electrical shock through my body, and my heart pounded in my chest. I threw it off and turned away from him, moving out of his reach.

"It's nothing, I'm fine," I answered shortly, staring at those damn stairs again.

"We both know that's a lie," he whispered, taking a step towards me.

Tell him, Greybeard encouraged.

"I'm handling it," I swallowed as he took a step closer.

"Well you're doing a shit job," he decided cautiously, taking the final step and standing directly behind me.

Please tell Tundra, Greybeard was begging now.

"I can't," I said out loud, without meaning to.

"Can't what?" Hamish whispered, placing both of his hands on my shoulders before letting them slide down my arms to rest on my wrists. "Talk to me."

My eyes slid shut as I tried to resist the urge to lean back into his muscular chest. His touches are purely platonic, they always have been.

"I can't," I repeated, swallowing thickly to control the pain that wanted to surface.

"And why not?" He demanded, a little louder this time. This thumbs were tracing feather light patterns on my wrists, and I couldn't help shivering. "Tell me what's going on."

"I need- I need... time," I exhaled all at once. "To deal with it. It will all be fine, I just- need time."

"Tell me what you're dealing with?" He said in his most appealing voice.

I sucked in a breath. Did he know what he was doing to me right now? Did he have any idea how he was making me feel? What his touch does to me?