We Had To Kiss... Had To {HamishxRandall}

Chapter 4

My chest was tight as I listened to the underlying pain in his words.

What has him so upset?

My thumbs swept patterns across his wrists in a soothing way, hoping to draw him out of this shell he'd put himself into.

"I wish you would talk to me," I murmured, meaning every word. "You've never had trouble talking to me before."

"This isn't- before," his breath shuddered out of him.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion. What had changed? I couldn't understand it. I was doing my best not to lose my temper, it wouldn't help matters.

I felt his muscles tense beneath my hands, and then suddenly, he was ripped away from me. But when I looked up, he was finally, finally looking back at me. Both Tundra and I sighed in relief as we were able to look into his eyes again.

"Things aren't the same anymore," he said, with more strength behind his words. I frowned, at both his words and the haunted look in his eyes. Tundra howled unhappily within me.

"Why not?" I asked earnestly. "How can I fix this?" And the question came out with a slightly desperate air.

His eyes moved down my body before coming back up again, and they grew darker than I'd ever seen them.

"You can't! Okay? What's done is done. I just need time," he repeated, wringing his hands and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

What's done is done?

The kiss, Tundra reminded me of our thoughts earlier today.

"Are you... was it-," I stopped, staring into his eyes with a pleading look before I continued. "Is this because of the kiss? Because I swear, Randall, it meant-," he didn't let me finish.

He stocked up to me, getting in my face and breathing heavily, his eyes flashing with Greybeard in their depths.

"Meant- what?" He asked, his tone full of self loathing. "Meant... nothing? Is that what you were going to say?"

I stopped short.

"Is that what you want me to say?" I asked, watching his expression carefully.

"Don't play with me," he snorted. His breath was hot and sweet, with a hint of nachos and bbq sauce, and it was almost intoxicating. "Tell me what it meant to you," he said simply, and there was fire in his eyes.

"I don't think it's that simple-," I started to say in a raised voice, because I really didn't know what it meant to me. What was I going to say? Did it mean nothing? Did it mean something?

"It is, actually," he said with a smile not nearly what it usually was. This one... this one was sad.

We were both breathing heavily now, staring into each other's eyes. Our wolves were challenging us both, I could sense it. His gaze was scorching and searching, and I wished I could show him exactly what he wanted to see. My eyes involuntarily glanced down to his lips, which he proceeded to bite under my scrutiny. I suddenly felt very weak in the knees, and Tundra was roaming awfully close to the surface... which meant I was losing control. My fists clenched at my sides, my arms shaking with the effort. I closed my eyes, intending to take a deep, calming breath through my nose. Instead... I got a lungful of pure Randall. Which was so not helping. I leaned forward, inhaling a little deeper.

"Fuck," I swore under my breath.

Tundra- you're not helping, I thought.

"What?" He whispered, his nose bumping mine.

"Why do you smell so good?" I asked so quietly that I'm sure if he were human he wouldn't have heard it. But he's not- he's a Knight of St. Christopher, and a werewolf, and so I'm sure that he did.

When I opened my eyes, he was so, so close. I licked my lips before biting the bottom one gently- to restrain myself. His eyes moved down to my lips and back again.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I murmured nervously.

"What did it mean to you?" He asked again, his voice low and tantalizing.

His warm, brown eyes were begging, pleading, for me to give the right answer. But they were also burning in a predatory way. It was undeniably hot.

"I- I..." I couldn't seem to speak as I stuttered incoherently.

What did it mean to us, Tundra encouraged me to speak.

I couldn't.

"Maybe..." he trailed his eyes down to my lips again and bumped my nose with his- like he did after that kiss. "You need a reminder."

"Randall, I-," I don't know what kind of case I was going to make, but my ability to speak once again disappeared as he backed me against the wall with his body.

"Do you not want me to kiss you?" He asked, looking me in the eye. He was giving me an easy out, a chance to say no.

But I couldn't do that either.

I enjoyed our kiss, much more than expected. And right now... I was enjoying Randall in this alpha male light a little too much to be platonic. His predatory look, his sure words and strong movements were downright arousing.

"Fuck it," I decided, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him in close.

Randall responded to my touch instantly, his eyes lighting up before he caught my lips in the hottest kiss I'd ever experienced. I couldn't decide if it was because his werewolf fangs were peaking through, or because of the way he immediately took control of the kiss... but I didn't care either. I tilted my head, deepening the kiss without separating and groaned at the sensation that was crawling through my body. Who knew Randall fucking Carpio could be this big of a turn on for me? I wound my fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at the soft strands as his hands found my waist. His wet, hot tongue traced my bottom lip, and I gasped at the feeling. Randall took advantage of the opening...

"Did you guys kill each other yet?" Came Jack's voice from outside the back door.

Randall broke the kiss, stumbling back a few steps. We both panted, trying to regain some of the oxygen we'd lost while our lips were locked together. Before I could get a word out, Randall disappeared up the stairs.