Snowman || Michaeng one-shot

Decision

Chaeyoung POV

In 2 hours it'll be Christmas, and yet I don't feel any excitement. Who would feel excited if you're left alone? Maybe if I get out of this apartment I might find a way to enjoy it.

After 15 minutes of contemplating whether to go out or just stay, I decided to just go out and let my feet take me wherever. I just hope my decision is right for once. I washed my face, put on my bag and a jacket I randomly picked. As soon as I went out of my apartment, I'm immediately met by a cold breeze. I let out a sigh and quietly mumble

"Okay, let's try to enjoy Christmas atleast..." I started walking with my hands in my pockets.

~~~

Huh, the park. I don't know how I would enjoy here, but I guess I could just draw or play on the snow. I looked around the park, although there are no people here because they're at home with their loved ones. The park is surprisingly decorated, Christmas lights and a large Christmas tree. Cool! Is this a sign that my decision was right?

I sat down on a bench and spent 30 minutes admiring my surroundings and drawing things that caught my eye. As always, drawing calms me and clears my mind. I checked the time on my phone, it's already 10:52 what else should i do here? I walked around the park while thinking what I should do. Whilst walking, I saw a pile of snow and thought of an idea. Should i make a snowman?

It's been a long time since I've made one. I remember building it with my friends in my childhood, I wonder how they're doing right now. We had to move houses before and didn't have a chance to properly say goodbye... Enough of that, I'll start making a snowman.

It took me longer than I expected, before I knew it, the time is now 11:26. I sure enjoyed it. I smiled to myself, as I think of something I can use for the face of the snowman. I don't have a carrot for the nose, I looked around to see if I could find something. Then an idea popped up in my head, I quickly opened my bag and pulled out the pencil I was using earlier. I stabbed the pencil on where the nose is supposed to be.

Looks weird but it works. I still need stones for the eyes and mouth, but I can't find anything.

"Sorry snowman, you can't see nor talk today." I whispered while looking at it.

I stared at it for a while and looked around. No people here, just my snowman and me. There's something missing, I feel it. Despite having a snowman to accompany me, I still feel lonely.

If I hadn't made such mistakes, I wouldn't be so lonesome on Christmas.

Then, with this one thought, all my mistakes and bad decisions came back to haunt me. Why did I have to be so stupid? Maybe I wouldn't be miserable if I had given things more thought before making a decision. Maybe I would've had someone with me right now if I hadn't pushed everyone away. I hate it.   I hate how I'm alone right now. I hate my shitty decisions. I hate feeling so cold. I hate everything. I hate myself. I hate myself so much.

I hate how I'm crying right now. It's always like this. Can't I have a peaceful night and enjoy Christmas without crying? I wiped away my tears, but it didn't stop. Instead, I cried even harder. I felt so weak that I dropped on my knees and sobbed.

Stop crying. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

...

'Don't cry, snowman, not in front of me'

Who was that? I looked around but found no one.

'Who'll catch your tears if you can't catch me, darling'

'If you can't catch me, darling'

I wiped my tears again and stood up. I quickly checked the time on my phone. 11:50. I've been crying for that long?