letters || niall horan.

march 20th, 2013.

Okay so first of all I want to apologize for updating so late, i've been busy with school and other things and i kinda wanted to delete this story but since people told me not to I decided to keep it up and to try and update more, so here's a new chapter! Hope you enjoy it, this is the day after the meeting, enjoy :) x

{ unedited }

Ashley's P.O.V.

Dear niall,

I can't believe yesterday actually happened, you made me the happiest girl in the world. I know you probably won't remember me, but I will forever remember that day. I had waited all my life for that day to come and I miss it so much. When you hugged me, I didn't wanna let go of you cause I knew that it would never happen again. I gave you my letter, with the most personal things about myself in it and i'm so scared of what you will think when you read it. Will you think i'm lame? Worthless? Miserable? Dumb? Stupid? Ugly? Will you hate me? Will you even read it or will you throw it away?

There's no way you're gonna be able to find me and i doubt you would even try. Why would you even try? I did put my twitter name in the letter, maybe you'll actually follow me. I just don't know how long to wait for a sign. I feel like I embarassed myself by giving you that letter. I mean, you're Niall Horan and I'm just a fan, why would you look at me any other way then you look at all the other fans?

Anyways Niall, I just want to thank you once again, for making me happy everyday, you have changed my life for the better and I'm so thankful for that, you mean the entire universe to me, I feel like i can open up to you without being afraid of getting judged, you're the reason why i smile even when I wanna cry, you make me feel beautiful with every little thing you do, I'm hopelessly in love with you, not for you fame or your money, but for you, your personality, your charms, your smile, your voice, your laugh, your dances, your taste in music, your clothing style, your kindness, the way you talk, the way you walk and sleep, just every single thing about you makes me so happy.

Niall's P.O.V.

I just can't get that girl out of my head, I don't know what's it about her that makes me so attracted to her, she completely took over my mind. She gave me a letter and asked me to read it and I've been sitting with the letter in my hand for almost an hour. I just don't know if i'm ready to read it, I get a lot of letters and some are very sad to read and somehow the thought of her getting hurt is making me mad and sad. I'm just gonna read it, I promised her.

dear niall,

let's start with how i honestly can't believe i'm meeting you, you're actually gonna be standing in front of me, i can't believe it, i've been fantasying so many years about meeting you, and it's finally happening, i feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world.

i just wanna tell you that you helped me through so much in my life, you actually saved me, i never liked myself, never have and never will be, you don't understand how it feels to be living with so much pain, how it feels like to be bullied ever day, to be told that you need to go to a mental institute, or maybe you do, i don't know. I feel like you've been stopping me from doing things I actually don't even want to do, i tried to commit suicide one time, to go away from all the pain, it didn't work, i woke up again, please don't hate me. I always made myself throw up after I ate cause i hate how fat i am, i always looked in the mirror and told myself how ugly i am, i write you letters, every single day, about how i feel and about what happened and about how you make me feel, but i didn't brought them with me today cause i wanna keep writing them after today.

you make me whole again, you keep me sane, you give me power, you make me feel worth it, you make me feel beautiful, you make my days so much better, when you smile, i smile, when you're sad, i'm sad, i'm in love with you Niall Horan, I know you hear that a lot, but I really am, I can't explain how you make me feel, the feeling I get when I see you, can't be described, you mean the absolute world to me, and i wish i did the same to you, i wish you were mine, i wish i was the one who could hold your hand, i wish i was the one you would kiss, i wish i was the one who you would say i love you to, i wish you loved me the same way i love you.

whenever i say "I love you", it's only you i'm talking about, but whenever you say "I love you" you're talking to a million of other girls, and that hurts so much, cause after all that you've done for me, you'll never look at me the same way i look at you.

i didn't mention anything about cutting, and that's because i haven't got there yet, because of you, i wanted to do it a couple times, trust me i really wanted, but i didn't because of you, i didn't want you to be disappointed in me, i didn't wanted to let you down, you're my escape niall, my knight in shining amor, my hero, my lifesaver, my angel, my prince, my all, my soul, every breath i take, every step i make, i do it for you, you make my life worth living niall.

I love you more than anything in the world, I'm so proud of you, for being where you are now, you deserve all of this, it was your dream, and you made it come true, i love you sunshine, i love you so much. Thank you for saving me, but most importantly,

Thank you for not giving up on me, when I gave up on myself, thank you for believing in me.

Love,

Ashley

When i finished reading the letter I was actually crying. Especially her last sentence, that got to me the most "Thank you for not giving up on me, when i gave up on myself, thank you for believing in me." She has been through so much painful things and she managed to stay strong, for me, I can't believe I actually saved her life. I had to find her. I had to thank her for being so amazing and strong, I had to, no matter what it takes. I looked at the letter one more time and I saw that she had put her twittername in it too. I immediately grabbed my phone and searched her up. Her user was honestly the cutest thing @lifesaverniall I found her and followed her immediately. I decided to send her a quick dm too, to let her know that I have read the letter.

Hi Ashely, it's Niall! I just read your letter and I must say that you're one of the strongest girls ever, thank you for staying strong for me, I love you, and you are not just a fan to me, I think we might even become friends, let me know when you saw this, and send me something back so we can keep in touch, stay safe, love, Niall.

That was that. I hope she reads it and decides to answer me back, I really hope so. I'm just gonna call it a night, i'm still trying to realize that I actually saved someones life, and a life of a very beautiful girl who probably doesn't even know she's beautiful. Let's hope that I wake up to her sending me a message back.

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Hi guuuuys, okay so sorry again for updating so late, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter cause I actually did :)

The twitter name that I used is probably already taken, but I just thought that it would match the story and yes I know you can't send such a long message in dm, but just pretend for a moment that you can ok ;D

Please vote & leave a comment what you think of it!

All the Love xx.