(FT THOR)
Shrek woke up, not by his alarm, but by the kids jumping on him.
"Wake up daddy!" the kids yell
(No not like that u dirty cow)
Shrek sighs knowing he will have to get out of bed when he just wanted more sleep
"What do you want you little shits"
Shrek saya whilst starring at the kids
"We wanna go on a walk!" one of them yells
"No stfu"
He throws the kids off the bed and put a pillow over his ears to cover the noise of the children.
OUCH
The children begin crying
"OH MY GOD SHUT UP, I DIDNT EVEN WANT YOU SO JUST STOP TALKING"
Thinking that would shut them up just made them cry even more. He sits up and starres at the kids laying on the floor, some upside down, sideways and some that landed in the bin.
"Okay fine, what do you want?"
The kids answer but only with cries.
"Okay what ever im off"
Shrek says as he gets up and leaves his hit into his Swamp. He leaves the door open in case his kids want to leave and get lost or what ever.
He walks around his Swamp looking for things to do. He climbs trees like a MATERIAL GWORL And swims in 3 centimeter ponds.
His toe breaks in the process (important information, remember this!!)
He walks around more when he enda up in a feild and notices a nice little yellow house. He looks around and realizes hes wayyyy far from his house so decides it would be better to mov into the yellow house even if that means killing the owner inside. He openes the door, no, the window and searches for the house owner. To his suprises... ITS FIONA! NO WONDER WHERE SHE WAS. But Fiona wasnt just standing there... She was... FUCKING DORA!
"surly this is police Worthy" Shrek thinks
Turns out he didnt say that in his brain but he said it outside...
"Not unless you join us-" Dora suggests
But... But how old are you? "
"12"
"Im- 34?"
"Thats okay we can make it work" Dora says
HELP IDK HOW PARAGRPAHS WORK AN IM KINDA DYING YK WHY THE HELL IS DORA FUCKING FIONA, PRETTY SURE THIS IS ILLEGAL BUT OH WELL 😍 AND IF FIONA OR DORA DOESNT LIKE STORIES ABT THEM PLEASE LET ME KNOW 😩
I mean.. If you insits
Shrek hops in bed with them and SUDDENLY THE DOOR BURSTS DOWN. ITS POLICE!
"what are they doing here??"
"I always knew u were a pedophile Shrek so I though id test you..." Fiona States.
(Police are like the Gingerbread guy, Pinokio, donkey, dragon and other)
"EVEN YOU DONKEY?"
"yes Shrek, yes" donkey says with a frown.
"HANDS UP YOUR GOING TO JAIL!"
Says the 6 centimeter ginge bread man u could easily stand on and eat for dessert
"I would but.."
Shrek pulls out his knife and stabs Fiona
"I NEVER LOVED YOU FIONA!" Shouted Shrek. Those were the las words Fiona heard as she passed..
"AND YOUR NEXT!" Shrek shouts looking at Dora dead in her eyes
"Oh no you dont" THOR says as he comes in out of the oven
"You dare put HANDS on my wife Dora!"
"Wife-?" Shrek questions
"Yes, wife"
"Would you want another wife" Fiona says a she comes back to life
"YES OFC!"
Thor grabs Fiona and Dora and flies off to who know where.
"Well... I guess its just us Donkey, Dragon, Pinokio and Ginger Boy..." Shrek says
"Yes yes ill get the camera" Donkey sighs as Shrek and Pinokio get in bed..
"MY EYES MY POOR EYES!" Dragon yells grabing a bucket of Bleach from the bathtub in the bedroom. The bucket was so big as she picked up the bucket of Bleach it flooded the whole house!!!
Everyone died. The end.
