"Holy fucking god!!" I scream jumping a foot in the air drenched in sweat. I clutch at my heart trying to breath, no not again it was just a dream a nightmare. "What the fuck?" Seth grumbles angrilly. I stutter trying to catch my breath "I'm s-sorry" I glares at me "You look like shit, what the hell's wrong?" I shake my head "Nothing, just had a nightmare.." He chuckles "You're in prison and you're screaming cause of a nightmare?" I shake my head and close my eyes "Ok sorry I'll stop." He chuckles before rolling over. I just sit up and look around, I'm not going to ba able to sleep after that the same dream over and over again, her blood everywhere including my hands and the knife in my right one. I killed my mother, the bitch used to beat and abuse me so at sixteen I grabbed the butcher knife and cut her open I let her guts spill over the floor. The worst part the pang of guilt that hit me afterwards and ever since that night I've been here. I take a deep breath and stretch right before the bell rings and inmates are forced to wake up for shower time, Seth gets up slowly and groggily "Bitch its your fault I'm so tired." I nod before standing at the bars, the guards let us and do a check before giving us a clean change of clothe and forcing us to walk in line to the prison showers. The one place I refuse to bend over no matter what!
I walk in and strip,placing my dirty clothe in a hamper and putting my clean ones on a rack I walk into the communal shower and go to the far corner trying to stay away from everyone else but sooner than later the showers crowded and men are eyeing each other eagerly and the worst thing imaginable happens to me...I drop the fucking soap. I hear a few chuckles and I stand tall and walk out it's not worth it I'm not that dirty. Before I can make it out of the shower fully, a guy grabs me and pulls me back, I hear him chuckle but he loses his grip so I sprint out and dry off as quickly as I can and get dressed faster than hell and walk out starring at the ground.
The guards check me quickly and send me to the mess hall for breakfast, I walk in and see Jewl hanging off Carlos like some love struck girl only this love struck girl has a black eye and a repaired broken nose. So in total looks like shit. I smirk walking by and Jewl glares at me "Bitch." He snarls at me I just shrug it off "You're the one hanging off some assholes arm." Carlos turns and glares at me, shit. I swallow a lump that formed in my throat, "Sor-sorry Carlos I uh uh yeah sorry." I look down at my feet "You better be bitch next time I hear you say some shit like that about me I'll brake you." I nod and walk to the food line and grab some of the slop they call food. I sit at my normal table most of the smaller guys sit here and eat they always talk about dumb stuff so I ignore them and eat so I can just get back to me cell screw friends I just need to survive this prison, only ten more years. My mama had a saying "Ten years, ten day, ten minutes, ten seconds same damn thang." I chuckle at the memory and hunch over my food making sure no one comes and steels it from me. I eat quickly and fight the urge to throw up afterwards the food taste like donkey shit, one of the guys laughs at me for the fucked up expression I'm making and for once I can't hold it down I jump to my feet and make a dead sprint for the garbage I throw everything up, a chill runs down my back and I throw up again my shaggy hair falling in my face. I try to push it back but it keeps falling back in my face when i throw up, a hand rests on my back and one grabs my hair holding it back.
I throw up some more and start to feel light headed, I dry gag nothing coming up. I try to stand but start to fall backwards the guy that was holding my hair catches me, I try to push him away but he won't let go "Fuck off." I try to say loudly but it comes out a whisper. "Nah I think you need my help." Seth says to me. Seth? I try to stand again but end up falling over, Seth catches me and picks me up bridal style not giving a fuck about the huge hit my pride is taking. "Let the fuck go!" I yell at him. He chuckles and just squeezes me closer to his huge chest. "Nah you need to see the nurse." I try to fight him off uselessly, and finally just let him take me I feel so weak and tired, pathetic.
He lays me down on the nurse room bed and tells the guards what happened before and the guards make him leave and call a nurse in, sadly it was a male nurse and in my weekend state I couldn't do fuck all while he did what he wanted before giving me the meds and having one of the guards take me back to my cell. I lay down in my bunk my lower back sore from my "Check up." I stare at the top bunk thinking of my ex-girlfriend and are baby, one thing no one knows about in this prison in my kid. Denary, I made it clear to my girlfriend to never bring my baby girl here no mater what and to never come and visits I couldn't see them be dragged down with me, Denary would be three know I haven't seen her since she was two month old. I think about my two loves, my girlfriend and daughter I don't think of them too ofter knowing they won't want anything to do with me. I glare up at the ceiling why couldn't I just take the beatings and the pain, no I had to kill the bitch and ruin me and my family's future what ever I have to stop tormenting myself about it before I hurt myself. Seth walks in a smirks at me "Feeling better kid?" I nod "Yeah slightly." I wince in pain when a sharp pain flash's up my back. "What you look so stressed about?" I shrug slightly before grumbling "Horny, male nurse." Seth brakes out laughing. I glare at the ceiling "Well screw you to than." He chuckles before taking a step closer to me and making his voice sound all low and husky "Any time you want kid." I swallow another lump that forms on my throat.
He chuckles before backing up "Don't worry kid, I wont try anything until you want me to." I sigh in relief...wait..."What do you mean?" He smirks "To make sure no one jumped you while you where vomiting I kinda told them to back off of my bitch." I smile and shrug "ok...WHAT!!!??" I jump up hitting my head on the top bunk. He chuckles" Just stick by me from know on got it?" I nod knowing better than to test him...
