Love is like a rosary full of mysteries. Old, but classic. Those were the exact words I knew right from the moment I met Hugh. It was a fine Sunday morning, a perfect day going to church, didn't knew before that it was also the day I will know what exactly love is. It's like a rosary, full of mysteries. You can't tell how, when and where will you feel it. It'll just come knocking on your door. "Hi, I'm Hugh." Right from that fine Sunday morning, like a vibrant flower, our love story bloom, "I love you Hugh, always and forever." It was a whirlwind of emotions and events. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fair. We struggled and fought for the love that we had. I thought it was safe sailing, didn't knew it was just a warning for a greater storm ahead of us.
On our fourth anniversary, I cried. Not because of happiness, but because of despair, sorrow and hollowness. He was the man of my dreams. I thought he was perfect, I thought he was the one, but one day I just woke up realizing I am not in a fairytale. I ended up being in a nightmare. It was indeed true that love is full of mysteries. Just when you knew you were on the right side, something will blow up in your face and slaps you with harsh realities. "I'm sorry, Lia. I can't do this anymore. I am not happy. Sorry, it isn't you anymore." I wasn't enough. Our love wasn't strong as how I knew it was. I wasn't an enough reason for him to stay. I wasn't for him that he chose to find someone else. "How can you love someone else?" He cheated. And it was the biggest mystery I kept on unfolding. "I'm sorry, I love your sister so much." I can't accept it that he chose my sister over me. I can't accept it that he sees himself marrying my sister rather than me.
On the exact day of our 5th anniversary, I was their maid of honor. It was ironic how I cried walking down the aisle while looking at the man I've dreamt of all my life. It was more upsetting to know that it wasn't me he was waiting at the altar. I cried for the love I can't have. I cried for the man I will never have. It was supposed a happy event, but I can't seem to feel it while witnessing the wedding of the man I love, and my sister I dear the most. Looking at the both of them, I saw the way how he looked at my sister. It is no doubt that cheating hasn't any valid reason. But for some instances, deep in my heart, I knew it was the rightest decision he has ever made. "Lia, I know I am the biggest jerk for you. I will forever regret cheating on you. I am thankful for all the memories I had with you, you were my first love. But I want you to know that I never regret falling in love with your sister." He never looked at me the way he looked at my sister. It was deep, mesmerizing and at peace. He loved me, but he was never in love with me. That was the mystery I unfolded with the love we had.
After their wedding, I left. That was the only choice I had. To heal, to grow, and to let go. "I'm sorry, ate Lia. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me." It was heartbreaking, but at some point, I felt happy for the love we shared. It was short, but I know it was worth it. I'll treasure it no matter what happens. Someday, I know I'll find a love like them. And I know you'll find it too. Love forgives, love forgets. Love is being free. Love heals everything.
