Dear Diary,
They've been hanging out a lot more recently. I mean I get that we're in his hometown and all and they're "best friends" or whatever but.. I thought we were best friends. It's not fair. This isn't fair. I shouldn't be jealous though. I'd never be good enough for him. Or anybody really.. I just wish he never said anything to those bullies. Maybe then I'd just be gone by now. Not.. in his way. Or at least I'd be able to do what I wanted. No more fear of him getting sick of me. Though sooner or later he will get sick of me. It's just a matter of time, really. Diary, you're the only one who won't leave me. Today he seemed annoyed at lunch, until he was with his new best friend. His glare even icier than usual. I didn't even dare go up to him today. I wish I was the one he wanted to be with all the time.. Why can't he want me like he wants him..
I woke up really tired this morning. I'm not quite sure why either. It might be because I haven't eaten in two days..But at least we're back home. Maybe I should eat something. No.. it'll make me feel sick. Well, it's not like he would care anyways. "Tadashi! Breakfast!" I hear my so-called mother yell out. God I hate when she acts like she cares. "I'm not hungry!" I yell, loud as I can so that she hears me. My eyes slowly flutter open as I reach to my bedside table to grab my phone. "It's Friday... of course it's Friday. Last day of school this week at least.." I mumble to myself as I slowly sit up, rubbing my eyes. I reach and turn on my light, just sitting in bed for an extra minute. It's cold, almost freezing. I get up and put my music on, as usual, before going to my closet and grabbing my uniform. It's Autumn now I remember as I put my uniform on. No wonder it's so cold.. I forgot. I finish getting dressed before heading off to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and brushing through my hair a bit. Not like my hair matters anyways. I think to myself as I finish getting ready before heading downstairs. She's already gone, great. I look at the food she left out and immediately feel like throwing up, so I just put the food down the disposal and wash the dish. I get my shoes on and put my headphones in, blasting my music. Should I even bother with Tsukki this morning? He hasn't really been the same. What if he gets mad at me for talking to him? What if he gets mad at me for not talking to him? I dunno, I may as well just go see him just in case.
I set off to Tsukki's house, getting there soon after. I knock on the door, and he immediately opens it. He was halfway through putting his shoes on when I got there. "Tsukki..! Morning.. Are we walking to school together?" I ask as he continues putting his shoes on. "Why are you here so early, Tadashi." Is all he says in response. "Well somebody's in a bad mood.." I mumble to myself, unaware that he can hear me. "Oh shut up" "R-right. Sorry Tsukki!" I smile at him as usual, a hint of sadness in my eyes that I'm unaware of. "Stop smiling, you have no reason to smile dumbass." "Right.. Sorry Tsukki." I stop smiling and look down at the ground. "Well let's go then." "Okay" I nod as we begin walking towards school. The walk is mostly silent as Tsukki seems to have something on his mind and I don't want to interrupt. Eventually he speaks up and asks me a question. "Why do you keep trying to talk to me." I stop in my tracks. "Wh-what do you mean, Tsukki..? You're my best friend.. Of course I'll talk to you" I bite my tongue. "That's stupid." I bite my tongue and put my hands into my pockets. "Right.. Sorry Tsukki..." I barely whisper as he glares at me. His phone starts to ring and I look over to him. "Shut up you fucking rooster" He says annoyedly. "Isn't that Kuroo?" I ask with caution. "Yes it is but he's so fucking annoying and he won't leave me alone. It's why I'm in such a bad mood today. I couldn't fucking sleep for 20 minutes without that damn idiot spamming me again. Like god fucking damn." He rolls his eyes as he walks closer to me. "I'm.. sorry. Or whatever." He barely mutters out. I can hardly contain my excitement. So he doesn't like Kuroo! That's great! Maybe I finally have a chance.. I think to myself as I nod. "No, don't worry Tsukki, don't worry. I understand people are really really annoying" I say as he shoves his phone in his pocket. "We should probably get going to school, or we're gonna be late" I say as he starts walking. "Yeah, let's go" He says while I run after him. He walks so fast I always have to walk twice as fast as normal just to keep up with him. I suddenly gasp and feel around in my pockets. I forgot to take my meds in the morning. I was too busy with everything else this morning to even think about them. "Shit. Tsukki I have to go back home, you can go to school unless you want to come with" "What do you need at home, Tadashi" I think for a second before looking around in my pockets. "I just- I-. I need to get my meds.." I stutter out as he looks at me. "C'mon let's go then. I don't mind missing school." Wait what the fuck? This doesn't seem like him. Hey, maybe I can just confess to him on the way back to my house. "Oh!- Okay then Tsukki let's go" I smile while we start walking towards my house again. I feel kinda bad for forgetting to take my meds, especially since I haven't forgotten to do that in quite a while. "How did you forget to take your medicine?" Tsukki suddenly says. I think for a second before shrugging my shoulders a bit. "In all honesty.. I was just really distracted this morning." I say, not wanting to tell him what I was distracted about. Normally, I'd tell him everything so I hope he doesn't ask what about. Maybe I could just make something up about my mum. Though, that wouldn't be a very good idea.
Once we get to my house I walk inside and to my room to grab my meds, Tsukki following behind me. "Hey Tsukki? Can we talk for a minute..?" I ask as he sits down on my bed, me at my desk grabbing the medicine I need. "Yeah? What is it Tadashi." "Well.. actually.. It's nothing" I quickly changed the subject by looking around and then grabbing a stuffed animal. "Look! I got this new stuffed bear!" I smiled, hoping he would just drop the subject entirely.
