i hate change but lately it's me who did the changing
and i'm trying to live everyday
without the fear that i create for myself
i have noticed my chest burns and turns red
when i'm nervous
it all is different
and held together in a strange way
and if i had to explain the feeling with words
i wouldn't be able to
i could explain it all with sounds
and the feeling of being stripped away
it's constant
in a world where nothing is real
surrounded with people but feels empty
the kind of things you cant explain
and you see i thought the best part about being alone
was that you weren't bothered
but is it crazy for wanting to be bothered?
for wanting to scream at someone
and shout "hey look at me"
"please talk to me"
you'll always send shivers down my spine
every single time that you message me
and yes i can see that life with you
that dream you keep having
but it's just another created fear
of wondering how we get there
how we get to that life
how we become it all
and i'm finding out by myself
and i've found out what real war is
i didn't find out how to win
and i didn't find you either
please don't find me
this is the war that no one could win
and i'll fight in this war
and that will be the end
