Influence (GirlXGirl)

Chapter 23: The Commitment

"What is this?" Stephanie asks about my current state, "You snapped at the Dean, now you're drinking the whole bottle of vodka and smoking? What did I even say about overcoming your addiction?"

"I didn't promise to you. I said I'll try, and I did try. I stopped smoking for a whole week, and I didn't even get any appreciation from you," I answered as I took a sip of my liquor.

"Let's put this aside before you start explaining to me," she said as she took the bottle and put it to the nearest table and stumped on my cigarettes. She went silent afterward and told me it was my cue to talk.

"I told you, I'm having a hard time."

"Aren't we all?" Stephanie retorted.

I shook my head, "No, you don't get it."

"Then, start explaining so I can understand," Stephanie said.

I sighed, giving in, "Okay! Okay, cards on the table. I was thinking of what we should do about José cause we have no clue his whereabouts And forgiving my dad or not. Not to mention we still have no clue who's the drug lord."

She furrowed her eyebrow, "Are you sure it's just that? Something must have triggered the bold move."

As I expected from Stephanie, she can see through me, "There's one. Joanne caught feelings for me, and now I'm waiting for her to talk about it."

She tilts her head, "Is that a bad thing?"

"It is because we agreed not to catch feelings to each other, and she just did."

"So what? Why do you make it a big deal?" She asked, "I mean, isn't it time to take your relationship to the next level? Or you don't love her?"

Oh, honey, I do. It's just hard when your high school crush is still around.

"I do. I don't want to lose her," I replied.

"Oh, don't give me the most cliche excuse to the friend-zone someone," Stephanie groaned.

Is that an excuse to friend-zone Joanne? It's not because I like her. I love her so bad that I don't want to lose her.

"No, it's not, Steph," I shook my head, "I'm not friend-zoning her. She's too precious to lose."

Stephanie sighed, "I get it. You're too comfortable with her that you're scared of losing her. Just like David and me, that's why we haven't made any commitment in our relationship. But, what makes you believe that you two won't be friends anymore after breaking up?"

Yeah, that didn't happen between Olivia and me. I tried to talk to her after the breakup, but she didn't even bother to read my text—every relationship after breaking up ended up being enemies. Of course, I'll be scared of losing Joanne.

"Did that happen between Olivia and me?" I asked, and Stephanie shook her head, "that's what I thought."

"You know what, I think this problem could be solved by talking to her. Ask what she wants and tell her what you want. If you just let her think about this alone by herself, it's no different than breaking up with her because, in the end, she grew hatred towards you," Stephanie spoke, and I thought she might have a point there.

It reminds me of what Simon told me. I'd lose her either way.

What should I do now? Talk to Joanne? I mean, is that what I want? To be with Joanne? What happened to my motive to get closer with Stephanie? I can't make Joanne be my girlfriend out of pity. But inside me, I know I care about Joanne.

"Should I give her a chance?" I asked Stephanie.

Her expression changed to confuse, "Are you asking me that? Cause it sounds like you're not sincere with Joanne."