Somewhere Somebody Is Made For You

Honey Blonde Girl

College was no different, same as high school. Everybody prominent for one thing or other. Unfortunately, It did take some time to wrap my mind around that. However I realized something more, I wasn't dealing with 'happy go lucky' teens, no, something more worse, adults, young adults to be Precise. Drunk with the afresh potential of freedom.

Perhaps the most messed of all, a recluse suffering from mental disorders, treating them as a part of life. The most mesmerizing outcast you've ever seen.

Definitely not me, as I said I'm a patient of a lot of things. My personal life, it's a mess, nothing's left, except a void of negative-ness.

Finding my place in the vast population of students seemed fairly tricky, but in reality a outcast gets a lot of attention, note the sarcasm.

I naturally possessed interest, in the virtue of scrutinizing people, that's how I got into sociology. I'm a student in affective science - the study of people's emotions. It's quite fascinating to observe the development of  social community(s) and it's interplays.

Whilst I was an expert at sentiments, but I never quite got it, to work for myself. So, I moved on or pretended to, at the very least, whatever. I never said my life was interesting.

I'll survive, maybe.

From my very childhood, I was convinced to build my walls very high, realizing, with the passage of time  that you couldn't consociate a person, by their friendly looks, their pep talks or in the very first moments you meet 'em.

Unless, the cliché gods curse you. Long story short, I fell in love, he did not.

We were young when we met, at a Summer Camp, love at first sight, really cliché, I must add. I experienced love, at the age of 8. In fact, That's the first time I saw him, and most probably the last. I just learned how to keep myself away from this feeling, away from him.

Over time, I found myself speaking to him is in those stupid dreams of mine, I didn't even have the luck to remember his name, My 'Prince Charming', that's what I call him now.

I kept everything to myself, and as always, I got bullied, experienced inequality, called by names, countless times. 

The college system had levels and you need to be very calculated and clever to be at the top of the social pyramid.

Being at the top seats, of the Pyramid is mandatory for a peaceful survival, which is again better than, the expected. 

Precisely, to survive, you had to be liked, which my attitude doesn't really compliment. But being the champion that I am, not really. I got liked by my teachers. 

I never approached narcissism, but attention is a thing, I just can't avoid. 

Classic, 'Be Unique Not Stupid' stuff, and in fact, it was natural, at least for me.

Eventually, I grew frustrated of everything, even my 'life'. So as a normal person would do, I tried to get rid of 'it'.  As always, it turned out to be a regretful decision, in this process someone else lost their life, my only parent as a result of saving me.

The only scar I got, was in my arm, which is now metal, I got hurt in the 'process', and unlike last time, my 'Prince Charming', wasn't there to save me. 

My room which is best described as a den, often finds me pondering, on the top of my bed, over something even the greatest minds couldn't decipher. Is my life worth living, last time,  when I came to a conclusion bad things happened, so never going that way.

Realizing, that I cant get rid of my depression, I adopted the next best thing, stories, media all from the internet, I found out that I had a natural craving for thriller, and discovered my love Sherlock. Even though I can't see my self working in the film industry, I still do fantasize those murder mysteries.

That's all summary of my life in a mess. Going upwards, In hopes of falling, falling down and crashing to a dark pit never to return.

Back to reality, sound of an morning alarm especially when you are sound asleep is just frustrating, luckily not enough to kill the clock, I slowly shut the it, in hopes of drifting to sleep once again.

"Get up sleepy head, it's already six", I groaned out in frustration, I can't spend a damn weekend without listening to her noisy voice. To be true, I should have gotten used to it, but some things never change, I guess one of them, is getting awake, every damn morning by annoying AI assistant.

"It's Sunday, let me rest", I replied with and obvious tint of frustration in my voice.

"Your friends -"

"- Classmates" I shouted, correcting her.

"Okay, your 'classmates' are arranging some kind of ceremony, for a couple and a few people,  which are joining this mess, presumably 'their' friends" She said with trepidation in her voice, feeling of fear and anxiety. This's literally the worst reason to wake me up, to summarize in some words 'I hate other people'. 

"So what role, do 'I' have to play, let me guess a big, fat, trumpet"

"No, Serena if you don't go it would be a direct disrespect to the people joining, at least that's what I heard form your . . . classmates", "You don't wanna be called by names anymore, do you"

"Yeah, but that's not going to end in an eternity", I said accepting my defeat but still trying to defend myself and prove it worthless.

I woke up, got something suitable, and mentally prepared myself to get ready for some more 'trumpets'.

"I'm ready, let's go shop we're running low on groceries"

And with that, started another dread full day.

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See you next time, in 'The Secret Protector' ;

NiteXyz, taking out.