• March 31st, I had always had a thing for him he was the mysterious one the one that made me challenge myself and that is why he was perfect for my fallen angel photoshoot. I never expected it to be more then a summer fling when I was twelve and he was fifteen, but their we where 4 years later in a grave yard having a great time with a photoshoot together. That chilly night in march we had a mutual love for cynical comedy. He took me to dinner after driving to four different locations trying to find a place that was open we went to el Señor and we had a fantastic time eating tacos and talking about life. Yes, I got in trouble for not making curfew but non the less fantastic time. He dropped me off at home and nothing else was said not a word between us for days! Did i do something wrong? Does he like me? Did i eat weird? All questions i wondered.
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Men wonder why women have problems dealing with dating why we are so odd and doubled meaning. That is why because men do stupid things like not text us goodnight after a good day or not show any interest!
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• April 2nd i finally make the bold decision
to text him. Yet he makes no effort to put anything to the text nothing very plain bold texting i made the excuse of sending him the final photo edited and finished they where complete bad ass and loved them. Yet he refused to take the conversation any farther then he had already went to talk to me which was only like 1/2 a centimeter like completely crazy!
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April 4th, It was a horrible day, so, I sent him a text. He all but a moment later sent back "pick you up at 7!" I cleaned up and he was here exactly at 7. I climbed into his white low rider. We started to drive and kept driveing till we ran out of road. He never even looked at how much gas we where burning or the time that his clock on his dash glowed red. We just drove and talked. For two hour. It was so extremely comfortable, calming, and controlling to know I could hold conversation with a man still and relax with him. Even after all the years wasted with the same male i could still feel good to be in his presence that i had been missing for far to long. We stopped for ice cream and talked some more about everything in the world from schools to sex from tv shows to our child hoods that parts we shared as well as the struggles we faced apart. Then, a feeling flooded over me of pure curiosity. I asking him to pull over, with curiosity of how his lips felt and what they tasted like. I was so intriguing like a vergin in a room filled with addicts. still we continued to drive. Little did i know he was stuggling to find a place that could be our place. well he finally picked it was honestly perfect. St.Johns cemetery. Even though that sounds all to gruesome, who is to say gruesome cant be romantic? That was the only place i could picture it happening if i wanted my first kiss with him to be anywhere it was there. And him lips where a happy medium. Not big and plump like mine but not to thin. He curled his lip when kissing and kissed my neck multiple times but not the way one may think not to arrous me it was to relax me. It was all to relaxing. We played around and talked in that car for what felt like forever but then all at once 9:55 came to soon and i had to be heading home. Again after upon dropping me off no good night no ill text u later nothing!
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I texted him the following day due to zombie jesus day! He all but quick replayed me and i ended up hanging out with my best friend jackie all night to get my mind off him. I just don't understand why he refuses to hold conversation with me other then the 3-4 hours a week we get to see each other! I feel belittled by him and all we do is drive around and get ice cream!
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April 7th, he tells me to be ready at "sixish" we are going out! Im super excited freshly washed leggings and my favorite gray shirt that took forever to decide between the gray and black one with a okay white bra and lace black underwear just incase something happens. He told me sixish so of corse I'm ready right at six and I'm going crazy trying to get everything done and there i am just sitting and waiting for 30 minutes on my bed with my curtains pulled because i was such a little kid waiting for him to get here 30 minutes went by the longest moments of my life for him to send me a text "on my way sorry" finally we leave and I'm thinking wonder if he has anything plained tonight so i asked and he said "no just driving" wow just another night with you talking about harry potter and driving. not that that isn't one of my favorite things to do but honestly lets do something else. Is he embraced by me? But then again we drive and drive till about 7:30 then we go to a lets guess ice cream shop! Get ice cream drive around some more and then back to the cemetery because I'm sick of driving around town! We sit there and talk and for the first time in 3 years i opened up the best i could and told him about my darkest spots and he was totally excepting them and okay with it and then something crazy happened. He asked me if it was okay that he took of his shirt! Of corse it was okay but why? I mean we had been cuddling in the back of a small car for about 30 minutes so i didn't look into it much.he began to fell my back and my scare he began to caress me and make me feel good which it did but why why if all he wanted was to get a piece of ass why not just take me to him place ? He finally got me out of my shirt sitting there emberced. In a white bra nothing cute sitting in the back of a car in a cemetery. How romantic right. Then i preceded to put back on my shirt and cuddle into a ball and he did nothing but just talk like everything is fine once again its 9:55 i crawl in the front seat. He drives me home. Telling me about how we is full this week but we will have to hang out asap! I don't object i enjoy hanging out ! But how many more ice cream shops can we go to? And in the back of my mind i have to think he is using me for sex i just have to i want to believe he's a nice guy but theres a lot against him.
