why

1

i want to be like other girl. why am i ugly. i'm fat, i'm stupid, i'm lazy, i'm short, i don't have my parents anymore , i don't have friend.

i'm tired. should i end everything here?

"mom, i'm sorry but after you go i can't survive anymore. i need you by my side mom. you always cheer me everytime i'm sad. but now i have nobody to cheer me when i'm sad anymore. i want t0 go meet you so bad mom".

Jiyo is writing on her journal. after she wrote about her day. she flick her journals  page one by one, 14/3.  the day she start to journal. and the day she lost her mom. her parents has divorced 3 months ago and jiyo never met her dad after her mom died.

her mom died 2 days before her birthday and her birthday thet year doesnt feel special anymore after she lost her mom.

she don't usually write on her journal but when she open that book, that means she'sjaving a really hard time. she flick the page one by one again and tears fell to her cheeks. reading the old page she wrote when she's having a hard time make her realizes how bad she needs her mom by her side.

14/3/2021

"mom, you lefted me. why did you left me without telling me you're going somewhere very far away.  i can't hear you scolding me anymore.  i can't taste your cooking anymore . i can't hear your voice anymore. i can't see your face anymore. i can't hear your voice persuade me anymore. i can't survive without you mom. 

i have 2 days left, my birthday is coming. aren't  you going to celebrate it? you told me you're going to bring me somewhere on my  birthay but how are you supposed to do that mom."

15/3/2021

"mom, i miss you. i miss you so much mom. where did you go? don't you miss me mom?"

16/3/2021

"mom, it's my birthday  today. let's go celebrate it. let's go buy me a cake. i miss you mom. i love you  mom. should i meet you? we  can celebrate together there mom."

tears keep dropping by jiyo's eyes. she can't control her emotion until she have trouble breathing by crying so bad.

should i go and meet you mom?  i need you by my side. it's already 13/3 today. tomorrow is 1 year  you left me.

i can't hold this anymore. i'm sorry and i  love you mom. let's meet. 

jiyo's about to jump by that building but someone stop her.

"hey. are you going to kill yourself?"