can tabs | dreamnotfound

Chapter 8

TW: ANGST. MENTIONS OF SELF HARM. DESCRIPTION OF SELF HARM. DRUG MENTON FLUF. DADDY ISUE DREAM. ANGSTT.

That's when I heard the door knob turn...
Oh no
clay walked in. eyes red and puffy.
"George?" He said. Voice broken.
Oh my god I was so happy he hasn't left. But not happy that he saw me with blood on my arms and crying like a three year old.
"Clay?" I whisper, turning round and pulling him down by his legs to sit with me on the floor.
I sat in between his legs and let him hold me
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry clay." I sobbed.
"It's okay, it's okay, I love you." He said, i could tell he was crying.
He moved one of his hands from my waist to my wrist.
I quickly moved my head round to try and tell him not to worry. But it was too late
"oh George." He said, brokenly as he began to cry more. I just hugged him tight.
"Don't go. Please..." I mumble
"I wont i promise." He mumbled back into my hair.
We sat like that for a while. It was nice. Then I fell asleep.

DREAMS POV
I lift George into his bed carefully.
I then kneel beside him and began cleaning his bloody wrist. I felt so so bad for scaring him like that.
I fucking hate my dad.
I want him to die but I don't because that means I leave George.
I'm glad his dying.
I'm glad he ended up like he has.
However I'm not glad I'm his son.
It was arranged today that if he dose die then I go to my auntie Clair.
I don't like her either. She's weird. and her kids annoy me a lot.
I just want me and George to be happy.
I'm 15. I can't even move out yet.
I was supposed to go to another meeting soon.
The meeting today was extremely scary. The lady said that my dad was in intensive care after taking some sort of drug.
Presumably cocain. 
His body it too weak to deal with any drug even I single pill could kill him.
they told me that they would wait 3 hours to see how my dad is
He could be dead by now
Or not?
The meeting was at 5pm.
The time time is 4:45.
I began to get ready. Just putting my shoes on and getting my hair and face fixed as it was messy from crying.
I gave George a quick kiss on his head.
And wrote a note that read
"Gone to another meeting to find out if he's dead or not. Be back soon. I love you."
I took a deep breath before heading to the conference room of my school.
once i arrived. There was a lot of people there.
My headteacher. The counsellors. the doctors and some police.
I could tell something was off.
"Hello clay, please take a seat." the
counsellor said.
I sat down in the soft chair.
"Hey." I breath out.
"how are you?" She askes
"Couldn't be better" I smile sarcastically.
She just laughs awkwardly.
"So..." she begins slowly as she pulles out a folder of papers and documents.
She opens it to a random page.
"As you can see here, you signed her to say that the day your dad dose pass away, you will be taken into care by your auntie Clair in Utah." She says.
I got a little frustrated by the fact she's stalling.
"Yep, can we just uhh kinda get to the point. is he dead or not?" I ask rubbing my neck.
"Clay, we're sorry. He passed about an hour ago..." she sighs, reaching for my hand.
Oh
My
God
I began to cry. Hard.
"No. NO!" I shout. standing up getting ready to go.
"I'm sorry, clay. Please keep seated while we tell you the arrangements." She says, strangely calm.
My heart way in pieces.
I had to leave the person I love the most. George.
How am I going to tell him.
Of course I was sad about my dad too. All the good times we had. playing football. Or fishing doing "father and son things"
he never really understood me.
why i wasn't into all that. why I thought the way I did.
That's why he drank and got angry because of me.
my stupid personality.
"You have 3 weeks to get ready to leave. say goodbye to friends or whatever." She said, 'soothingly' it wasn't soothing at all.
It was frustrating
3 weeks wasn't enough.
It feels like my world is going to explode and everything and everyone is going to die. of
I sat and cried at the desk  for a while.
The lady kept apologising to me.
I shoot my head up.
"STOP SAYING SORRY ITS MY FAULT! AND ITS HIS!" I cry. I get up and leave the room
I was going to the library.
I couldn't go back to the dorm.
I slam open the library door and block the entrance with a chair. I then run to the back where the seats are.
And where the glass roof is.
I look at the stars and the sky 
I lay on the floor. On my back. there and cry. just let all my emotions out.
"FUCK YOU DAD!" I yell at the top of my lungs
"FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU!" I carry on.
I was so angry.
So upset.
I didn't know what to do.
All these emotions were building up so fast.
Soon enough the teachers and counsellors were here.
"Are you ready to go back up to your room yet?" She asks sitting next to me.
"No. Leave me alone." I say.
At this point I wasn't crying just numb. Thinking hard.
I can't tell George.
I won't tell him.
I'm a shitty person for not but I can't.
I can't bare to see he pretty face cry anymore.
Everyday I'll spend with him.
Every moment.
Every second.
I lay there until 4am.
Thinking.
Mainly about my mom and my dad.
and George.
What I wanted to do with him after today.
I want to take him places.
tell him things I haven't yet.
I decided to head back to the dorm.
I leave the library.
I was shaky. And weak.
I open the door slowly.
Luckily he was still asleep. I lay in my bed still thinking.
rehearsing conversations in my head.
Things to do. I thought of so many I count think of any more.  But then something hit me

The last cab tab

SO SORRY THIS IS SO SAD LMAO!
HOPEFULLY U LIKE IT THO.
HAVE A GOOD DAY BESTIES ❤️❤️❤️
EAT AND DRINK