When They See Us (Book 1.0)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Macy

One of the most challenging things I've had to go through, second to my mother's overdose, was withdrawal. I knew it was necessary, but going cold turkey without the assistance of doctors and a support system is extremely difficult, almost impossible. I'm just happy the Reeds took me in because Daniel and I would still be drugging ourselves with who knows what, just to get through the day, if it hadn't been for them. My desire to get high is never far from the forefront of my mind. I knew I shouldn't have beaten Chase up, but I didn't want him talking about Adelaide in that way. She has been nothing but supportive to me throughout this difficult time.

Even though we were dating, I appreciated her allowing me to sleep with her every night because she didn't have to. My nightmares have become less frequent, but if I happened to have one or have panic attacks, Addy always knew exactly what to say to bring me out of them.

Her words of endearment and encouragement never cease to make me blush, and my feelings for her have only become stronger.

We decided to take things slowly between us, especially since I'm still a recovering addict. Addy wants her first time to be special and memorable, and she doesn't want me to be in pain. I respect her decision to wait and I appreciate her for thinking about me as well. If I could go back and wait for her to be my first, I would do it in a heartbeat.

After calming me down on the beach, Adelaide and I returned to the house. We ate pizza, then I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and got into my nightclothes. Sleeping half-naked helps me with the sweats from the nightmares. I'm lying on the bed with the light off, watching Happy Feet 2, waiting for her to finish her shower. A dim lamp on the nightstand is the only light beaming in the room besides the tv.

I think back to earlier when I told her about my mother as I lay waiting for her. Except for her father, I haven't ever told anyone about what happened to my mom. I kept it a secret, even from my therapist who visits me twice a week. I refused to speak about my mother because the pain and trauma from what happened is sometimes too much for me.

Addy was like my own personal therapist in some way. She was able to break my walls down and get me talking. If I ever wanted to jump, she knew just the right words to pull me down from the ledge. I just wish she would have been there three years ago. Though I accept full responsibility for my actions, I still wonder if her support could have helped me three years ago, and prevented things from ever getting this bad.

I let the thought go and return my attention to the TV. Addy has been in the bathroom for a long time now that I think about it. What the hell is she doing, shaving her entire body? My eyes widen as I process my thoughts. Is this why her parents agreed to let us come out here? I know Adelaide was the one who asked them to let us come, but is she expecting our relationship to go further tonight?

It's amusing to remember the safe sex conversation from the other day. Most parents would want to prevent their children from having sex. Hers supported it for whatever reason, and I was overjoyed to have the talk with them, it meant a lot to me. My mother disappeared before she could ever sit down with me to talk about safe sex. I just did my thing and hoped that health class had adequately prepared me.

It's difficult to imagine that even if my mother hadn't died, she would probably still be an addict to this day, failing to perform basic motherly duties. I sometimes felt she was better off.

Addy's parents probably didn't want her to be a 40-year-old virgin, since that's exactly where she'll end up if she doesn't do the deed one day. My thoughts cause me to laugh out loud, and I hear her voice from the other side of the bathroom.