I wish I could tell you that you'll enjoy this story. I wish you could walk away from this tale feeling happy, like a little kid on a sunny day playing with their friends outside. But if I said that, I'd be telling a lie; a lie that would rip your heart out of your chest and shatter it into a million pieces like it's made of glass. Lies were a part of my life, a standard act. For as long as I could remember, they'd been in my head too. Seven little voices sat in the back of my mind, always telling me lies.
"You're better than them. You will always be better than them," Pride would sneer.
"That thing is yours, not theirs. You deserve it," Greed would convince me.
"The room has its eyes on you. Act like it," Lust would whisper in my ear.
"Let's take that from them. If we have it, maybe we'll be like them," Envy would sigh.
"Don't give them that! If they deserved it, they would already have it." Gluttony would claim.
"Hate them! Hate them all! They've never done anything for you!" Wrath would scream.
"Take it nice and easy. You shouldn't have to work hard to get what you want," Sloth would mumble.
They taught me to never care about anyone else, that I was the most important person in the world. I never had much of a family or anyone to care about other than the sins, so I listened. I grew up following their methods, doing whatever it was they wanted me to do. It was almost like a little game between us. They'd lie to me, I'd listen, and I became worse with every little thing I did just to please them. It's not a surprise to me I lived a life of transgression.
I remember the voices started talking to me when I was seven years old. The orphanage I was living in at the time had burned down (I probably should have left the matches alone), and it was Lust who spoke to me first. Her voice was a dulcet, charming tone and she helped me convince the officers that I had nothing to do with the incident, and I was just lucky enough to be the only one alive from the whole thing.
One by one after that, the others started talking to me too. It was Greed's greasy voice and Envy's calm, mellow speech that taught me how to pickpocket the more fortunate as they walked by. Pride and his snobby, arrogant vocals taught me how to keep my head up high no matter what, and Sloth's slow and bored tone told me how to get others to listen to me and follow my commands. One by one, lie by lie, they'd convince me I was the most important person in the world and that I deserved everything. After all, it's everyone else's fault that I'm suffering, isn't it?
I didn't like any of them. They all had problems and gave me headaches whenever they argued over what I should do next, so I tried to make friends with other people to avoid talking to the sins. They didn't like that, but it was one of the only times I realized I had control over them, not the other way around. I wish I had realized it sooner. I wouldn't call the people I met friends, though. More like "subjects." The little group I gathered treated me as their rightful king, and the forceful nature Wrath had inflicted me with reinforced that.
The first real "friend" I made was Hecate. She had a sharp, street-smart aura to her. She was a tall, lean girl and knew how to fight, something I quietly admired. She was also witty, and wasn't afraid to speak her mind. If anyone were to ever question my authority, it would be her. And I hate to admit it, but she was always right whenever she questioned me or my plans. I only disregarded her criticism once, and it was a mistake that cost me my life, my sanity, and my only family.
The second person I met was Felix. He was a more ambitious type than most. He lived for the thrill of a fight, for the rush of adrenaline he got whenever he said something stupid to someone he shouldn't have. He had a cocky and sarcastic tone to him, something that proved useful at times. He could talk his way out of any fight, but he never would. He was younger than the rest of us, so I never let him do anything he wanted. It was whatever little bit of compassion that remained in me that stopped him from doing things. I guess I just didn't want him to get hurt, but that in turn hurt him in a different way. It's no wonder he turned away from me when I needed it most.
The third and final person who I got to join the gang was Cassius. He was the brains to my brawn, the one behind every genius scheme. I never gave him the credit he deserved, an act I now regret. He was never in the field with Hecate and Felix, but he stayed behind to ensure total success, guiding them from afar.
Of course, I didn't trust any of them. I couldn't. The sins made sure of that. I had to be self reliant. The others were just there to get their hands dirty so I didn't have to. After everything I had gone through, I couldn't trust anyone else. My parents left me to fend for myself. The first friends I made in the orphanage were fake and treated me like trash. The sins only strengthened my narcissism. But that changed eventually. I learned to open up. Trust people. Love them.
It may have been a little too late to learn, though.
