There once was a man. A lazy man. A man so lazy, that he didn't even bother telling people his name. He acheived a world record for the laziest man on earth. (Or he would have, if he hadn't been lazy enough to go pick it up.) He was so lazy, he once paid a guy to withdraw some money from his bank account. Of course, that backfired horribly. The man lost all his money, his life savings, in one fell swoop. But that's not all. This man was so unmotivated, he didn't even TRY to get it all back. "What's the point? We're all going to die anyways", he drawled. How this man ever graduated from college is a mystery. No, really. Even he doesn't know. AND GET THIS. He doesn't even buy his own food. He has (or had, rather) it delivered to him by the same man who stole all his money. Ironic, right? Anyways, this man was homeless, jobless, aimless. He did not have a care in the world. Until he met this woman. This particular woman was similar to him in every way, shape, and form. She'd lost all her money, didn't try to get it back, etc. Now, you'd think these two would get along swimmingly, right? Wrong. True, the woman tried her best to try and break bread with the man. But the man simply despised this woman. Who does she think she is, being lazier than he? (For she was lazier than this man. She hadn't attended kindergarten because it was too much work, while he'd dropped out in the first grade. I think.) Only he had the right to do absolutely nothing, all day every day. He and only he. It infuriated him that someone was lazier than him, so much so that he vowed revenge on the woman. He vowed that she would rue the day she crossed him. (This was all in his mind, of course. He was much too lazy to speak a word to her.) Thus, his quest begins...
