50% of Heaven, 50% of Hell

Chapter 16: "Nevaeh"

WARNING some of the things I have written in here may offend some people.
If you are homophobic, I would like to tell you, sincerely, to fuck the fuck off.
What I have written isn't even all that bad, (to me) because I used to write hardcore smut (don't judge) so this is nothing. But it might offend and I'm not in the mood for hate comments so stop reading if you don't like it. (:
 enjoy!!

Nevaeh's POV

I walk down from the basement, feeling better than ever. I smile at Bobby, ignoring his weird looks. Rufus seems entirely focused on Sam and for some reason, his face contorts slightly and he grimaces before turning his back on me. I turn back to look at Dean. His look of nonchalant "I don't give a shit" has faded away and his emotions finally show. Dropping Adam on the couch, he sighs and pours himself a drink. "Hey, pour me one too."

Surprisingly, he does it without arguing and hands it too me. I have to say, the fact he let go of his charade is kind of a turn off. Acting like a tough bad boy is just as good as actually being one, until you let people see the real you. He just... wasn't sexy right now. I shrug, getting another weird look from Bobby.

"So, Rufus thinks Cas is in heaven." Bobby says, and my heart sinks. Damn it. Fucking Cas, shit man. Couldn't we just have taken a week off, get wasted, beat up some dicks at a bar? Sleep some, watch some TV, go on a normal hunt? "I think the best idea is for Nevaeh to get some of her angel going and see what she can do up there." I had to cut in here.

"You guys, I can't." I say, straight up lying. "I'm literally exhausted and if I were to do that right now I would probably go insane. Plus, Naomi is probably waiting for me and Crowley wants my head on a stick and-" I cut myself of, realizing my rambling isn't helping my case and Bobby is looking more and more horrified with each word. "Just lemme get one good night of sleep and I'll try something in the morning."

I didn't feel bad that I lied. And for all I knew, I could go crazy. I just didn't think I would. Naomi and Crowley are looking for me, but I know I could take them. One thing that I know I can't do, though, is get into heaven with all of this... demon pumping through my body. I gulp down my drink and head for the stairs. "I'll talk to you guys in the morning."

The living stays completely silent, but the second I get to the second floor whispering creeps up through the floor boards. Honestly, at this point I don't care. Stepping into the bedroom, I peel off first my jacket, then my shirt, then my socks, boots and jeans until I'm standing in my bra and panties. The cool air hits my skin perfectly, and feels absolutely amazing. I fall onto the bed, savoring the softness of the sheets before returning to the worries of my mind.

I realized that I have my head spit up into different categories. My mind, the real me, is the human me, the one that's not good or bad, angel or demon, it's the me that doesn't have all the memories. My mind can be influenced but it's still its individual self. A weird sense of déjà vu sweeps over me, as if I had realized this, maybe once a long time ago, before this life.

I reach out with my mind and lose myself in the swirling black smoke. Visions of bloody walls swim through my head and sooth me before I pull back into my head. I tense up, slightly perturbed that I could be so... indifferent at the scenes of torture that play through my head. Remembering what Bobby wants me to do tomorrow, I fall back into my head, worming my way through smoke to the white wall that now dimly shines as the evil suppresses it.

At the touch of my mind, it flares up instantly and the blackness in my mind flares away. A headsplitting pain sweeps through me and my eyes open wide as I retreat away from it.

There is no way in hell I'm doing that. Before I can stop myself I grab my clothes and dress myself before imagining the streets of Las Vegas. The sinking, sucking feeling occurs and I find myself, in the dead of night, surrounded by flashing lights and loud noises and lots of hookers. Maybe not hookers, but there were sluts surrounding me. In a way it comforted me, I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

*two weeks later*

"God Brad that's just wrong." I say, slapping the arm of my 'friend' for the night. My red dress clings to my body, and there isn't enough fabric to cover much of anything. Not that the men around me cared. I sidle into the lap of brad and whisper in his ear. "Let's get a room." Ten minutes later my dress was on the floor and so was I... in the good way of course.

*Two months later*

"Give me the fucking money you prick." My hands are around his throat and he is shoved against the wall. I don't really know the guy against the wall, but my boss wants him to either pay up or die. I don't need the money, I could transport into and back and get what I needed without any danger. But the thrill of ripping someone's heart out with my bare hands is better than any kind of bank robbery. The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad.

"h-h-h-here take what you need" he stutters, and I laugh before snatching the wad out of his hands. I release my grip around his throat, instead of killing him, I grab his wrist and twist until I see bone before walking out to deliver.

*Three months later*

"Come on girls, entertain us. Gimme some girl on girl action." A southern accent yells from the audience. His voice in slurred and stupid and not many men back his demand but I'm down for anything. I'm experimenting with stripping now, which ended up being a fun way to get good cash. I'm pretty sure Natalia, my partner for the night, is a lesbian both way, and she's got great tits. She smiles at me and moves closer. Pushing our bodies as close together as we could she grabs my ass and I get a handful of boob.

I smile at the guys closest to us before kissing her, slowly as first but then letting it get hotter and more passionate. By the time we pull apart and stopped the groping to get back to our nightly duties I was ready for a whole lot more. And that morning after closing that's exactly what I got from her. Let's just say a girl knows what she's doing with her tongue.

*Five months later*

"Let me go you son of a bitch!" I spit in dean's direction furious. The boys somehow managed to find me. I'm not sure how, but they showed up at the bar I had recently started working at and decided to drag me into the impala and bring me back so Sioux Falls.

"This is for your own good." Sam says, entering the room. They both seem oddly aloof and unemotional about the situation.

"Fuck you Dean." I say, struggling against the rope that held me. Bobby's panic room was making me itch. "I'm going to flay your skin off, piece by piece you motherfucker. Just wait until I get out of here." I chuckled. "I'll drag you back to hell myself." Dean faltered as he took a sip of his drink and I took full advantage of it. Dispelling the rage from my voice, I made myself sound hard as steel.

"You scared Dean? You don't want to go back? Maybe I'll get some hellhounds to kill you first. Yea, I figured out how much you hated them. Maybe I'll even bring back Alastair. Hell, maybe even in thirty years we can turn you back into the cold, mindless torturer you used to be. Wouldn't you like that dean? Wouldn't it feel-" My words god cut off as he smacks me across my face. My lower lip begins to gush so I turn and smile back as widely as possible before my body healed itself.

"There's the real Dean we all know and love." I say in a low tone before setting back, enjoying Sam's attempt to not be affected by all of this.

"Nevaeh." A deep voice says softly from the panic room doorway, and all my hate and anger and loathing just ceases to exist before the white wall shines and I start convulsing.

So I realize that I just put five months into one chapter.

Nevaeh will still be a bad girl for a while, but CAS IS BACKKK and I'll tell you guys how that happened in the next chapter. (: