Our Sun And Moon//lashton

Chapter 4

Luke's POV

"Hey luke, did ash tell you about last night?" Micheal says as he pulls me back into the kitchen

"No? What happened?" I reply

"I think he was having a panic attack or something, I'm not really sure." Micheal reply as he grabs a mug from the cabinet

"He had a panic attack?" I question

"Yeah he hasn't had one of those in years, it's kinda freaking me out, you might wanna drug him again before we get to the airport. We don't need the media giving him one and then that getting posted all over the internet." He says, he's right, we don't need a scandal on this tour. I walk over to my bag and pull the medication back out and walk back towards Ashton's bunk. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge for him as well. I pull his curtain back, I can't tell if he's sleeping or not. I lightly shake his shoulder to no response. He's out. He's gonna hate me but needs to take this. I shake him a little harder just to be met with

"The hell luke, I just fell asleep?" He rolls over and just glares at me.

"You need to take this." I say as I hold the pill out with one hand and the water in the other

"No I don't want to. I don't want to burden y'all with me being all drugged up." He rolls back over

"Your not gonna burden us, Michael told me about the panic attack and I just wanna make sure we get you to London as stress free as possible on your part. I'm fine, but we need to keep you good for the tour. If that means your gonna be a little loopy then that's fine. But having a panic attack in the airport is a different issue." I say. To no response other then him taking the medication from me and swallowing it.

"Will you lay with me?" He says, I nod my head and climb into bed with him. He puts his head in my lap and arms around my torso, his thumb is stroking the side of my ribs. He looks tired, I understand if I was going through what he was I would be too. I rub my hands through his hair, playing with the curls and letting him relax. Soon enough he dozes off. I pull my phone out to check how far we are from the airport. 11 minutes away, great he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up. I untangle him from me and slide outta the bunk. I start to pick up his clothes from the floor and put them in his suit case and then I do the same for myself. I walk back into the bathroom and grab both of our toiletries bag. As I pick his up I notice the lining on the bag is torn. There's something inside of the tear, I look inside and pick up what I though what just a wrapper, but in reality when I brought it up to my eyes, it turned out to be a razor. Bloody. He's relapsed. I put the razor back in it's place. And zip the bag up and bring them out to our suit cases. After I finish packing our stuff up I return to his bunk. I open his curtain he's still out. I need to know. I gently push up the first sleeve:nothing. I go to look at the other, it doesn't take but an inch of pushing it up to see the wounds. Shit, we have to be extra careful now. He cannot be by himself. Not until he is balanced back out. I gently remove my hand from his wrist and place it on his shoulder to wake him. All I get is a moan in response. I walk away back up to the front of the bus. What am I going to do? I don't want him to know what I know or he's gonna blow up at me. Soon we pull up to the airport. Once again I walk back to his bunk. He's awake, giggling at something on his phone. I roll him over, he's still giggling at me. I notice the empty vodka bottle shoved in between the bed and wall.

"Ashton..? Have you been drinking?" I ask

"Noppeeeee I haven't, that's from the last show!" He giggles as he sits up and throws his arms out to me. I don't believe him. He doesn't smell like vodka...good. I help him out of the bed and grab his vans from the floor. I help him put them on and then we head towards the front of the bus. We pull behind the airport so that we can get through TSA faster. Our body guards escort us off the bus to the inside of the airport. Ashton is piddling behind me, I slow my pace down so I would be beside him.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. He just nods his head and pulls his phone out.  I speed my pace back up to catch up with the other boys. We head inside and start the process. We get through quickly. Thank goodness there was no issues and board the private jet for London. I take a seat on the sofa and pull my phone to switch it to airplane mode and put the wifi on. But I see I have a message from ashton

ASHTON: I'm panicking, I'm confused

I look up to see he's sitting in the chair across from me. His knees are pulled up to his chest and his head in down in the middle of them. I have no idea what he's going through. I stand up and walk over and crouch in from of him.

"Are you okay?" I ask

"Where are we?" He ask me as he looks up with tears in his eyes

"We are on the plane, we are on the way to London for the next show, it's a short flight from Madrid to London I promise. We will get to the hotel soon and can get you to sleep." I say, I get up and turn around to head back to my seat.

"Don't go." He whispers, I walk back over to him and sit on the ground besides him.

"I need the bathroom." He says as he stands up and walks back towards the bathroom. There's nothing in there he could hurt himself with. Shortly he comes outta the bathroom. And sits down on the sofa across from me. I look around to see Micheal and Calum out cold in the two regular seats near the front. I get up and walk back over to sit next to him. He immediately lays his head in my lap and starts to cry. I get it he's probably scared outta his mind right now. I stroke his hair hoping he will fall asleep, instead his breathing gets loud and heavy. He shoots up and runs into the bathroom. I hear the sounds of vomiting, well mostly gagging. He hasn't had much to eat lately. I walk over to the bathroom and knock. No response. I knock again. No response. I push the door open. He's sitting on the ground. Plastic knife in hand trying to cut home self. Just dragging it over and over on his wrist.

"ASHTON. Give me that!" I snatch it outta his hand and he starts to sob. No words come out of his mouth. No blood was coming from him. Just scratches.
"Come on, get up buddy." I say as I help him stand up and we walk back out to the sofa. I sit down and he lays his head in my lap. I lean my head back on the sofa and slide the other under his sweatshirt onto his back that way if he tries to move I would wake up. I close my eyes and let sleep wash over me