2019
Pain. It follows me everywhere. There is no way that I can escape it. A part of me died on that day in Spa. I will never forget the image of my boyfriend, Anthoine Hubert, losing control in front of me. Yes, it has only been a week since then and I am supposed to go racing again however I can't bring myself to even get up. I just have to get through this race then I will give myself some time to grieve. I know it is a decision that carries a lot of risks but I have to do it.
"Callum, I'll do it," I hear the voice of one of my long-time friends Sergio Sette Camara.
"But-," Callum is cut off by the sound of Sergio banging on the door.
"You can both come in," I reluctantly call out. I know that they are coming here to check on me. Both Callum and Sergio understand the headspace that I am in. Losing a loved one is never easy. Especially when that loved one got you to the place you are today. Yes without Anthoine I don't think I would have made it past karting. It doesn't take long for Callum and Sergio to join me on the couch. I notice that Callum's eyes are puffed up. A sign of crying. Like me, he was deeply affected. Something that he doesn't want to admit. Not yet anyway.
"Any way you two came here for a reason," I end the sentence with a sigh as they will want to know if I am ok. Of course, I am not ok. My life has been ruined. I'm just sick and tired of people checking on me.
"Sergio thought you could do with some company before the feature race," Callum explains. He is right. I can feel the tears work their way up. I don't deserve the generosity of these two. In fact, I don't deserve anything after all one could argue that I forced Juan Manuel Correa into Anthoine. The stewards didn't see it that way so I didn't cop a punishment but still. It is something that I am not ready to tell the others yet. We soon settled into watching a movie together. Admittedly I'm not really paying attention as my mind is stuck on what is going to happen tomorrow with the feature race. The only good thing about that race is the fact that I will be starting in second so I have a chance of getting myself into first place. It doesn't take long for the race to start. To my surprise, I was able to pass the first-place driver which happens to be Callum. Now I just need to hold my ground. After an hour and a half of furious defending, I crossed the line first. The only thing that is going through my mind as I make my way to the Parc ferme area is the fact that I won't be able to celebrate my first Formula 2 win with Anthoine. Even the joy from my lead engineer is subdued.
A/N I have decided to re-write this story as I wanted to combine it with another idea that I had. Yes, this story will not have a happy ending. Regardless remember to vote and/or comment. Feedback will always be welcome especially in regards to translations as they will be done via google translate.
PS there will also be a lot of time skips which will be indicated by the dates in bold
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