Ode to Memento

Soundtrack #2: Little Do You Know

How did Frary handle Mary's trauma?

Trigger warning: Undertone topic of Mary's rape. No explicit details.

Mary never thought that she would ever blame her husband for the trauma she experienced. Francis never meant to hurt her. But his false sense of protection over her became the pitfall of their relationship.

She was not ready to admit how much she hated the idea. But her mind was faster than her heart desired.

He was too gutted to realize how deep the wound she had. But the reality was setting in quicker than he could handle.

The physical distance they created at the moment was the safe haven they needed but never wanted.

Francis coveted her to be comfortable. So, he chose the chaise. Mary gave him a faint smile of gratitude as she gently sat on the bed.

The silence was louder than the embers of the fire that crackled in the background. That fire tried its best to warm the cold tension that poured heavily on the room.

Mary, though badly defeated, hoped it was enough to get them through the night.

Francis, still auspicious, wanted to cling on to the narrative that they could last beyond tomorrow.

As they fixed themselves for slumber, their eyes met and never left one another. Their eyes communicated and knew they had so much to say. But both lost their voices to speak and let the silence win.

Their gaze was fixed. Mary breathed heavily as her heart wanted to break with Francis' concerned stare. He felt that and gave her a heartening smile before turning the other way.

One sighed of relief, the other was of devastation.

His back faced her as she watched the rise and fall of his breathing. Thinking he was starting to fall asleep, she laid fully on the bed and let her heart lull her to sleep.

Francis, little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep. Little do you know, I'm still haunted by the memories. Little do you know, I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece. Little do you know, I need a little more time.

Her heart did not hold back as her mind whirled in the idea of her dreaded prison of trauma.

Underneath it all, I'm held captive by the hole inside. I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind. I'm ready to forgive you, but forgetting is a harder fight. Little do you know, I need a little more time.

Her tears freely flowed in valiant muteness. So, she turned her back to hide it from him in case he would turn to look at her.

Their synchronization was still intact as he did turn to see her before he would truly fall asleep.

He wanted to speak but his mind still looked for the right words. However, his heart knew precisely the unspoken truth.

Mary, little do you know, I know you're hurt while I'm sound asleep. Little do you know, all my mistakes are slowly drowning me. Little do you know, I'm tryin' to make it better piece by piece. Little do you know, I love you 'til the sun dies.

He looked at her with such intent and warmth to embrace all her troubles away.

She avoided him but only wanted to melt in his protective hug.

If only it was that easy. If only the pain was bearable. If only they could speak their hearts freely.

But they just couldn't. Not tonight, at least.

She veritably couldn't resist looking at him one more time.

So, she wiped her tears and turned once more to his direction; only to land her eyes on his surprised blue orbs.

She genuinely preferred to speak to assure him. She knew how he was feeling. Those blue orbs couldn't lie.

But her heart wanted to shout in the comforts of her being alone.

The wounded warrior soul that hid behind her brave heart needed her to heal on her own terms before she could help him out. Her eyes aided to convey that very message.

Oh Francis, please wait. Just wait.

I love you like I've never felt the pain.

His words were just there to console her. He knew how she was feeling. Those doe eyes couldn't lie.

But his heart wanted to let her be in peace.

The injured soldier that hid behind his dauntless heart needed him to stay put. He needed to do that for as long as he possibly could before she was ready to welcome him again. His eyes relayed that very message.

Oh Mary, please wait. Just wait. I love you like I've never been afraid.

Please, just wait. Our love is here, and here to stay.

So, lay your head on me.

Miraculously, their communication became clearer in the strength of their gaze in each passing second.

Their hearts beat the steady pace they wanted.

They felt their consciousness did the work for them.

Yes, Francis. I'll wait.

Yes, Mary. I'll wait.

In unison, their love spoke volumes in their hearts.

I love you like you've never felt the pain

Love is here, and here to stay.

So, lay your head on me.

They yearned for each other. It was evident. But for now, this was enough.

Their minds concluded that their voices only needed to say three words for that night.

"Good night, Francis." She smiled.

"Good night, Mary." He smiled back. 

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P.S. This song was released in the same year as Reign season 2. So, this story was basically formulated 8 years ago. When I heard it for the first time, it made me think that it could have been written for Frary. I hope you also feel that way when you hear the song :)