In coming and going, who have you become?

In coming and going...

This is a request from the lovely @cosmicbrownies7 on tumblr "a cruella fic where she's obsessed with the reader since the reader has been with her since they were little. And after Cruellas success the reader tries to leave but cruella won't "let" her. Or something along those lines."

A/N: I've already apologised a thousand times for how long it's taken, but thank you for your patience as well as everyone who's been waiting for me to drop something. Here it is! This is the first half of this fic, the second half is coming very, very soon, I promise, and it is considerably longer than this one. Also, I might have gone off the request a bit, but this was what I managed to come up with.

Uni has been keeping me busy and mentally unstable, as it does, and the holidays never fail to make me spiral, followed by the adorable, cute and lovely exam season for which I can only seem to be able to blink and breathe, AnD! to make things better right in the middle of exam season (had 2/4 exams done) MY ROOMMATE GOT COVID :') I'm still negative and I've switched rooms but we're always together so I do believe it's just the incubation period. fun! today i'm missing an exam that i'll take on the 18th feb instead (considering that my classes start on the 21st.....) and on monday i have calc (for which i am utterly lost and I have to study bc i've failed a subject already but I still don't know if I'm positive and get to miss it or if I have to take it on monday kdjjdksksdj. life rant aside, that is why things. yes. the tiny amounts of time i've had to write have been like little nuggets of sanity, so i very much enjoyed writing it, and very much hope you enjoy reading it <3

warnings: parent death, generally traumatic childhood, yall know me, i don't do cute backstories

~3000 words

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Knowing her past, of course it pained you to have to leave, just like everyone else did in her life, and unfortunately that included you, all those years ago, twice. And now you sat here contemplating your options, and leaving again was the most likely outcome.

Third time would be the charm, she thought, and you knew it, you could tell by the sparkle in her eye and the way she held your hand. Her grip on you was always tight, and it got tighter every time you went away and came back.

It's destiny, she would argue. It's fate, that the two of you should meet again and again. But you knew it to be a coincidence, you knew you would always come back to London, even if for a short time, just like now. You had to be rational, since her feelings would always cloud reality. Because your own feelings couldn't mean that much. Of course you liked her, of course you cared about her, but you couldn't let her mean too much to you. As kids it didn't matter much. Later on things got a bit more complicated.

Your own mum worked at the bakery near where Estella and her mum lived, so, in your free time as a little kid (which was basically all of your time) you would go play with her on the street, in her house, in the kitchens of the bakery. Making clothes, drawing each other, and doing all the things kids do.

And of course time could not allow that to go on forever, so the tragic day came.

You didn't know the details of it, and you never cared much to do your research, because thinking too much about it felt like torture to you. But you knew that one day your mum died in an accident at the bakery, something about getting crushed after some of the heavier supplies fell down.

And then you were left to the world.

You could have stayed, you knew in your heart that Katherine would have taken you in, you could have lived with them, but you didn't really have much of a choice.

The orphanage came for you that very day, your mum's employers at the bakery knew that your dad was completely out of the picture, so they reported the issue right away.