Reunion In A Restaurant In Michigan

Elastic Heart

Alfred struggling with PTSD and the trauma of what his mom did to him. He tries to hide it from Ivan, but Ivan is there for him.

Ivan POV

I get a text from Katyusha when I'm in the middle of sweeping my bedroom.

Kat: Alfred is here. I couldn't give more warning, he just popped in like a rabbit. Sorry.

I drop everything and rush downstairs, tripping over my feet. Sure enough, Alfred is sitting on the stairs. I vaguely remember him saying stairs are harder for him now before noticing... he's so still.

I sit next to him, and I'm taken aback at the look on his face as he turns to me. He's been crying. "Thank God you're here...Ivan, I completely fucked up."

I've never seen Alfred so upset. His knuckles are bruised and split open, his glasses are crooked, and his blue eyes are red. "Do you want to go upstairs and talk about it?"

He jerkily nods, chewing on his hand.

I help him up the stairs, deeply worried when he doesn't argue or stubbornly drag himself up the stairs.

He cautiously sits on my bed, and then I encourage him to lay down when he sways from dizziness.

I lay beside him after closing the door. "What happened, babe?"

He smiles a little at 'babe' and then the smile completely vanishes. "I didn't tell you and neither did Mattie 'cause I threatened him, but uh...I got arrested."

Wait....what?! Alfred, arrested?! "Oh shit."

Alfred sighs, rubbing his eyes. I hold myself back from chuckling. This is a terrible time to laugh. "Oh Alfred...what did you do?"

He buries his face in the blankets. "I punched a guy right in the face, in public. And then kept wailing on him."

I frown in concern. Alfred has always had a temper...but my goodness. "Did he... provoke you?"

Alfred makes an unintelligible noise and says without lifting his head, "No...I don't know what came over me. I smelled something that reminded me of that stupid cult. And then I got so fucking angry. I'm so angry all the time."

I stay quiet, listening. He goes on, fists clenching in the blankets. "They didn't keep me in jail because of everything that happened. And I guess the dude dropped charges? Anyway."

"That guy your sister has a crush on, Yao? He came to talk to me in jail. I had just thrown some things around and shouted at the other inmates because I was so fucking mad. He just stood there as I screamed in rage and was all like, "You done yet?"

I smile at the thought of Yao being there for Alfred. "He's one of few cops around here who actually cares."

Alfred chuckles. "He's a good dude. Where was I? Dammit...brain fog."

I play with his cowlick that always sticks up. "Yao talking to you in jail."

"Yeah! Thanks, dude. Anyway, Yao told me that the guy I attacked dropped charges once he found out that I went missing and shit. Plus he found out that I'm chronically ill. Whatever. Regardless, they let me go because Yao pulled strings."

I nod in understanding. "Yes, and then you went home?"

Alfred sighs, a truly furious look on his face. "No! This is where it gets really stupid."

I wince. "The hospital?"

The blonde roars in rage, and I can tell it is too much for his frail body, holding so much rage. "No! It's so stupid, Ivan! COURT MANDATED THERAPY!"

I sigh in relief, even as I feel guilty for the emotion. Truly...everyone who knows Alfred has whispered about it for years, even before his parents split and he began abusing marijuana. His anger always rested like a dragon below the surface, swooping in for the kill like an eagle in the mountains. His words when incensed are like claws; always sharp, glistening with the red blood of his kills. His lips just couldn't hold back their vitriol. No human can tame the tongue, it's a restless evil, filled with deadly poison. 

"Why do you look like that? I don't need therapy, Ivan. I...I'm fine."

I swallow uncomfortably. "Alfred...I know you don't want to hear this."

He glares. "You're right, I don't fucking want to. You're about to say it. Everyone is! My dad even..."

He breaks off, eyes shut, too angry to speak. I use that opportunity to step in, gentle but firm like a mother bear. "Alfred, dorogoy, the healthiest people could use therapy. And you've been through...some shit."

He sighs, and then frowns. "But...your sister's not in therapy."

I chuckle. "Actually, Alfredka, she is."

His eyes widen comically. I go on. "She went through awful things. And she needed someone to help her process it. Just like I need help processing my illness and my own trauma. Alfredka, it really could help you."

He blows out a breath, and to my worry, begins to cry. "I get n-nightmares, Ivan."

I pat his shoulder, knowing how rare it is for him to ever open up and not play macho or break something. "I see."

His eyes begin to stream. "I wake up and think I'm back there. And sometimes, I just...get so mad. I fucking lose it. I get mad at everything. Being sick, losing my job, losing my life as I knew it..."

I nod, holding him in my arms. "Yes, yes. Do go on, sunflower."

"Simple things are so hard now. Not even the brain fog, Ivan. The stress...it builds up. And it explodes. But...I feel like I am exploding all the time."

I nod again. "I know that feeling."