Everything feels so heavy. My head hurts. I just wanna sleep. Thats all i ever wanna do.
Going to sleep cause im scared what i actually might do to myself. Its getting really hard not to cry about every little thing. Waking up, just wanting to go back to sleep again. The thought of all things im gonna have to do today makes me wanna cry. Its so exhausting. Even before falling asleep, i already just wanna skip tomorrow, i dont wanna wake up. Its a scary feeling, realizing you actually dont wanna live anymore, theres nothing really keeping me here anymore. These little things that exite me seem so out of reach. These little things have seem to start fading away. Getting smaller everyday. Just constantly being on the verge of tears, trying to get thru whatever im doing. Is this how its supposted to be?
I just look at all these pictures and videos of myself. I feel disgusted. Why do i look like that? Why are my thighs so different from my friend? Why does my nose look so big? My body looks disgusting. Do others feel like this? Why do i not wanna live? Whats wrong with me? Im so ungrateful. Ive been given everything life could possibly give me and i still fell like this. Im so tired of everything, even myself.
I can feel the tears running down my cheeks as i look into the mirror. Im so unhappy about everything. Theres a million things i would change about myself if i could.
Why do i have to be like this?
