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i try to convince myself that i hate you
it doesn't work much
but i still remind myself
every day

i hate you for what you did to me

i hate you for hurting me like this
knowing
i was already in this fucked up in my mind
i was already hurting with things to begin with

i hate you so much
i hate you for hitting me
i hate you for using me

i hate you for saying the words
that you knew would break me into more pieces

the words that struck me
in ways that i've never felt before

i tell myself
i hate you so fucking much
but the sad truth is

i'm not over you
i don't think i ever will be

i'm still in love with you

and it feels like i always will be.

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