I hate you, but I love you

The hate you give

There she is again laughing with her friends. Way to shove it in my face every 5 seconds.

I just hate it. I hate the fact that she gets to have so many friends she can rely on and have the perfect life, just to rub it in my face. Ring ring. Time for next period, we're in the same class and sometimes she can be really annoying.

I'll admit it seems like I'm hating on her for no reason, but you'll see why I hate her so much in less then two minutes. I walked in to class and everyone stopped and stared. I wonder what she told them this time, last time was I was pregnant, second time I was apparently fucking her boyfriend, that she didn't even like.

"Looks like the child predator is here", someone from across the room said. What? She told everyone I was a child predator? That's it I'm not putting up with her nonsense anymore. I looked at Sophia, blood boiling.

"You told them I was a child predator?", I tried to say as calmly as possible.

"It's true isn't it?, there's no point in lying everyone knows about it now", she said while smirking. I tried to keep my calm but it was just so hard.

"Do you have problems? Do you have some kind of humiliating disorder? Why the fuck would you go around telling people I'm a child predator when it's obviously you. Did you not date an 6th grader while we were in 7th grade. If anything your the child predator here." Everyone gasped and Sophia's eyes widened.

"It's not true, she's lying!", I mentally scoffed. Does she think she can get away with something like this without me telling her little secret?

"Do you guys believe me or the child predator?"

"Like I said, you're the child predator Sophia." She got up and pulled me out of the classroom.

"I thought you said you wouldn't tell anyone about that, you know I wasn't in my right mind back then", she whisper shouts.

"And you still aren't now"

"What did you just say?"

"I mean you've made up so many lies about me and you just told everyone I'm a child predator, what did you expect?" She looked lost with words. Good. I want her to say absolutely nothing.

"Bye", I turned around and was on my way to walk back to class.

"WAIT". Aha she's finally going to apologise. I turned around and waited for an apology.

"If you speak of this ever again, I will RUIN your life."

"Oh you think I'm scared," I laughed out loud, "you're a weak bitch that always has to rely on her 'boy besties' to back her up, if you want to do this properly then let's do it one on one". She scoffed at me, for what?

"I wasn't talking about physically, I was talking about emotionally. I will ruin you. I repeat. I.Will.Ruin.You." I rolled my eyes and walked back to class just before the teacher came in. What is she talking about? She can't do anything to me

. . .

The next day:

Every day is the same. Wake up. Get ready for school. Go to school. Get harassed. Study. Go home. Cook. Sleep. It's all a repeated cycle every single day. It's like I can't escape it. I've never once felt happiness in my life. I never wanted to, it would hurt too much when the happiness goes away.

I got up today at 6:00, got ready in less then an hour and studied up until 8:30 as school is only a 15 minute walk away and starts at 9:00. This is the type of shit I am doing everyday. I can't take a break from it. I can't do anything about it really.