I Cant Make You Love Me

What's Best For You

A'Shaun in the MM

"It's not about what I want but its all about what you need"

A'Shaun

This weekend been great. I mainly just been cooped up with Meme. We went to see fireworks on the 4th, went to the beach and to some cookouts. We just been talking, getting back to basics. We haven't had sex or talked about what happened last week when she came over out of no where. I don't care though. I got my baby back and another chance and that's all that matter right now.

I got two jobs. One is working on cars at my uncle shop and the other one is Walmart. A'Meenha always talking shit about how Target better than Walmart but shit they give me good hours, I don't give a fuck about nothing else but my check. This girl love that I got two jobs. She always copying off Everybody Hate Chris mama trying to be funny talking about "I don't need this my man got two jobs". Her little ass is a bug but she my bug.

Right now I'm on my way to my uncle shop. See what he got for me to do before my shift at Walmart. I know y'all like "I know this nigga not about to work on cars then take his musty ass to Walmart." Good shit but I'm not! My uncle house right around the corner from the shop and I'm a run over there and shower before my shift.

I ain't told my Auntie and Uncle me and Meme back together yet. Shit I really ain't told nobody. Well besides the people that follow me on IG but they been knew she was mines and I wasn't letting her go. We been on and off almost two years of our five almost six years of being together. She even had got into another relationship last summer. I put that girl through so much but shit she ain't no saint either. She cheated before, had other boyfriends and all. Yeah it may have been after I always fucked up but she still did it. She suppose to be the bigger person and not let my actions fuck her up. But naw, her motto is "If you think its okay to do it to me then it must be okay for me to do it to you" .

She a damn handful. I can only imagine how our kids a turn out. Of course I want kids with her. About 5-10. We would of had two right now if everything would of went right. It just was never the right time. The first time my mom died and I wasn't stable and in my right mind no more. Shit I'm still not stable and dont think I ever will be but I'll try for my mama and A'Meenha. My mama actually liked her and that lady dont like nobody. Anyways, me and Meme agreed on abortion. The second time around, about a year later, she had a miscarriage we dont know why. I kind of blamed her for the miscarriage and she blamed me too cause we wasn't on the best speaking terms back then and she was stressed with school, working a job and me. In actuality it wasn't nobody fault shit just happens in God's plan and it wasn't meant for us to be parents right now. Out of everything that I done put her through with jealousy, my attitude, anger problems, cheating and lying. Im just grateful she found it in her to love and forgive me. I made the mistake once of thinking she'd never leave. I actually did shit intentional to push her away cause I didn't think it was possible for someone to love me so much that they'd do anything for me and always be by my side no matter how many times I made her upset or hurt her. Similar to my mom in a way and I think thats why I wanted her gone cause she wasn't my mom. Damn I miss that lady.

I just want whats best for her at the end of the day.

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"Hey Shaun" some female co workers said walking by smiling

"Sup"

I ain't been in Walmart for 5 full minutes yet and these hoes already in my face. Same hoes everyday. That's one thing I almost regret about my past....fucking too many girls. Chicago a big city but its small at the same time and the streets talk. Im sure they know a girl or two or three that I done been with and that bitch went bragging and they just felt that they want to try it for themselves. Plus bitches see my Instagram and know that I love my girl and you know bitches always want what they can't have. That one bitch Brianna fine as fuck though. Jay fucked her already so I ain't even thinking about her like that. We ain't never been them niggas that share bitches or run through the same hoes. Thats for dummies. No telling what those hoes got. Plus I strap up every time anyway except for with A'Meenha.
I mean I went in two of my exes raw too but besides them thats it. I can't be out here like that.