Oh My Lovely Life (Which I Love So Much!)

1

Sometimes I wish I was a sea blob. 

Like, I get to live my life just living. And I die just because. Ever since the 4th grade, I knew that life would just get crazier than I was aware of. I felt anxious because I never knew what was coming. I was never an easy going, carefree person. Part of my personality was worrying. I overthink and spilled my ideas a lot, which made me look like an interesting person. Even though I had many friends back then, I always felt lonely, which sucks. That feeling stuck with me even when I'm a Junior in High-school now. Loneliness will be the death of me soon.

"Lina." a voice called from behind me.

 I turned instantly, facing my best friend, Hunter.

"Hm?" I replied

"We should hang out with Diana and all her friends today" Hunter suggested.

"Um, I don't know If that's a great idea.." I worried.

As I said, worrying was my biggest issue and part of my personality. Diana and I met in the 5th grade. She liked me but got over me in a week or so. We became great friends in 6th and had a little drama last year. The drama wasn't like our older arguments, It was filled with hurt, lies, and broken feelings of love. I never thought in my 16 years of life I would be fighting over a man of all things but there I was, crying to myself. His name was Elliot. He was the ideal "guy friend" every girl wanted. He was caring in a sense, But carefree. He could make you laugh, smile, and make you feel whole. It was so easy to get attached to him. We met because of Sofia, a girl he was close with. I eventually got his number and we constantly talked and called. I eventually trusted him with being personal and got comfortable. He did as well, we both shared our feelings for things. When the ball dropped on new years, I confessed. If only I knew it would strain our further friendship. He never admitted having feelings or not having feelings. He just accepted mine. It was quite awkward but I still tried to talk to him. Over the course, We drifted. During the drift, Him and Diana grew close. During that drift, I found out I was in love with him. Soon Enough, our awkwardness slowly cried and left us and we found ourselves back to talking casually. I forgot about Diana's friendship with him and I started to make moves on him. Her feelings grew and his attention was slowly shifting towards her. I didn't get upset, I just felt forgotten. My thoughts grew messier and screamed at me to talk to him. I went on a walk and overheard the conversation that broke me.

"You can't tell Rosalina" Diana sternly said.

Hunter nodded and hugged Diana, " I won't." They whispered

I stood still, My knees locked in. I already knew what this was about, In my heart I knew. The air began to suffocate me, slowly making me go crazy. I began to walk away with my head down. He surely liked her too. I had no chance. But what broke my heart was Hunter agreeing. Imagine how much stuff Hunter didn't tell me. I silently cried as the bell chimed. Of course, The class I had next had both Hunter and Diana. I silently laid my head on the cold table. It felt cool on my cheek, chilling my hot face. Hunter approached me, asking what's wrong. If only I could just say the truth. I lied saying I had a headache, I couldn't tell Hunter what I heard.

"Lina?" Hunter waved their hands in front of me.

"Yeah?" I replied with a sigh.

"I know you don't like Diana, But, She isn't that bad.. Right?" Hunter hesitated.

I stopped to give Hunter a glare. 

"Diana and Elliot made me feel like shit. But, Hey! She's not that bad!" I sarcastically jeered.

Hunter stood quiet, not wanting to make things even worse than they were. When they were like that, staying quiet, It made me sometimes disappointed. I know I can't expect my friends to be loyal 24/7, But, It hurt a lot when they choose the people who made me feel indescribably shitty.

"Okay well.. Wanna go to the mall after school?" They asked as we walked towards the lunch line.

"Walking there?" I asked.

"I could ask George to take us.." They replied, thinking if it was okay.

"If he says yeah, then I'll go" I accepted.

I walked towards the table of girls I always sat with.

"Hey Ro and Hunty" Lauren greeted with a smile.

Lauren, someone I can call a close friend. I've known her since the 6th grade. We hung out a lot in the 8th as well. She was so kind and gentle. Never getting mad, So understanding, and a kind soul. I loved talking to her.

"Hey" I bubbled.

"What'cha doin'?" I followed up.

"Soph and Iliana are just playing roblox" She replied softly.

Those were two best friends who everyone were scared of. Sophia was judgmental and made fun of everyone who sometimes deserved it. Her targets were mostly athletic racist guys at school. But sometimes, She hurts our feelings and we ignore her for minutes. I sometimes feel like we should distance ourselves because she's really mean sometimes. Iliana is more humorous. Sophia made fun of the guys, Iliana added the funny to it. It was messed up and Iliana notices but doesn't know how to tell Sophia to stop it.

"Interesting" I whispered.

"Oh so how's Hayden?" I asked

She blushed soflty while looking the other way. I smiled in joy, she looked so cute.

"He's okay.. I don't know if he likes me though" She sighed

"i'm back guys" a voice announced.

"Oh hey Miya" I waved

"Oh my god hey. You've been dead for a while" She laughed

"Yeah, yeah.. Just dealing with shit" I softly admitted

"Oh uh Elliot asked about you yesterday" She began

My eyes shot up, confused but interested.

"What he say?" I questioned

"He asked if you were okay." She declared.

I sat confused. What the hell?