Chan's POV
Isang araw, napa-isip ako bigla sa sarili ko. I just turned 18 and grabe ang kaba ko everytime another year is added to my life. The responsibilities, priorities blah blah, I felt like, I'm not yet ready.
Gusto ko pang bumawi sa parents ko kahit na sobra sobra ang sakit sa ulo na binibigay ko sakanila. Pero kahit ganito ako, iniisip ko parin sila.
"Tulala ka na naman. Ano na namang iniisip mo? Yung umamin ba sayo?"
Nabigla ako sa sinabi ni Dexy kaya napa-ayos ako nang upo.
"Ha? Hindi no. Kinakabahan lang ako sa oral recitat--"
"Can you just tell me you're curious why did he like you instead of denying it? Your actions were too obvious, Chan."
Napakapit ako sa bag ko.
She's right, I am bothered and curious about Uno. Napapa-isip talaga ako like, why me? Anong meron sa'kin na wala sa ibang babae? And then, I end up pushing them away, just like I did today.
"Chan, you are pretty. Wag mo nga husgahan ang sarili mo ano ka ba. Mabait ka pa, matalino, caring.. oh come on, wag mo nang hayaan na isa isahin ko ang mga bagay na nasa iyo at wala sa ibang tao. You should stop comparing yourself to other girls."
"I can't. I doubt myself a lot."
"Uno confessed because he wants to let you know what he felt for you. But that doesn't mean, jojowain ka nun. He adore you, Channie! Wag kang mag-overthink!"
I know, crush crush lang. But there's still a possibility na diyan din nagsisimula diba? I mean, in the middle of crushing someone, you'll end up falling for him?
I sighed deeper when I saw Uno's Instagram story and find out, he's hanging out with his girlfriend.
"I told you, mawawala rin ang crush crush na yan. So you shouldn't be thinking about guys pursuing you when they're just confessing about their feelings. Unless magpapaligaw ka and for them to have a chance to prove themselves. Diyan ka na dapat mag o-overthink."
Dexy did calmed my senses. Natauhan ako sa lahat ng sinabi niya. But then, as the years passed by, someone confessed again. And like before, na bo-bother parin ako.
"Damn, I think I like that guy for you." Bulong niya sakin nang umupo siya sa tabi ko.
"Dexy, nakakahiya." Natatawa siyang umiling sakin.
"Wag kang mahiya, hindi mo kasalanan na ililibre ka niya." Lalaban pa sana ako kaso biglang nilapag ni Vax ang tray sa harap namin at ngumiti sa akin nang sobrang tamis.
"Kain na kayo. Ihahatid nalang daw yung juice dito."
Aaminin ko, na touched ako sa sobrang gentle niya. Nakikita ko kung paano siya ngumiti ng alanganin dahil sa hiya kapag naaabutan ko siyang nakatingin sa akin.
Classmate kami ni Vax the entire sem kaya imbes na ma-awkward ay nagkakasundo pa, kasi madalas magkasama kami sa group activities.
"Ang cute niya pala lalo pag malapitan." sambit ng kaibigan niya na ikinabigla ko.
"Bagay kayo." Our eyes met and we both looked away. Damn, nakakahiya.
Bahagya kong binagga ang balikat ni Vax after ng practice nila sa basketball.
"Kinuwento mo pala ako sakanila ah." Natatawa niya akong kinurot sa pisngi.
"Ang cute cute mo kasi.."
That time, I felt comfortable around him. The awkwardness left the atmosphere. And yes, nararamdaman kong parang nagkakagusto na rin ako sakanya.
When I got busy with my studies, hindi na rin kami nagkakasama ni Vax, even Dexy. Nagkahiwalay kami nung Grade 12, 2nd sem. May biglaang paghati eh kasi dumarami na ang estudyante sa iisang room. Nakakalungkot lang isipin, miss ko na silang dalawa. But I understand, we're both chasing our dreams. Tourism si Dexy and then Marine si Vax and I'm taking up Education.
A slight pain crossed through my heart when he started hanging out with other girls. And then, the other day, she dropped a picture of her girlfriend.
I smiled. Maybe he got tired of waiting for me. It's fine. As long as, hindi pa naman malalim ang nararamdaman ko sakanya. But I got disappointed, I almost thought, siya na talaga.
"Someone added me sa facebook, do you know him? Mutual friend ka niya." I approached Dexy as soon as I finished stalking the account.
"Accept mo." Napataas ang kilay ko ng makita ang ngiti na dahan dahang namumuo sa kanyang labi.
"Wait, I don't even know him. Bakit ko siya i-aaccept?"
"Chan, he's also around the campus. Ahead lang siya sa atin ng 2 years. But then it's all up to you if you'll accept him." Kinindatan niya ako bago siya bumalik sa paglalaro ng ml.
I stared at the profile, trying to remember his face. I can't remember any events or program sa school na nakita ko ang mukhang to.
"Wala namang mawawala pag inaccept kita."
I clicked accept and closed my phone.
Tomorrow is another day. Damn, first day in College.
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Have you ever experienced these kind of confessions? Share your thoughts and experiences! :>
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