shallow grave

"I can't fucking stand you."

Jasper glances towards the passenger seat to see his boyfriend holding his legs to his chest, his lips half-curled into a small smile. He laughs, looking back at the road.

"Yeah, sure you can't. That's why you walk into my house uninvited and sleep in my bed, right?"

"I'll grab the steering wheel and crash this car. Do not test me, faggot."

Salem leans over and turns the music up. The conversation's over. Jasper snorts and shakes his head, but he leaves the volume as it is. He looks at him again. The dark circles under Salem's eyes are prominent. For a moment, he wishes he could ease the nightmares, but he knows they'll never go away. All he can do is be there for him. 

"Jasper, the frosting is pink. You don't have to stir anymore."

"Huh?" He blinks, looking down at the bowl he's apparently been mixing for a bit too long. "Oh. Sorry."

"What's with you, dude?" asks his coworker Jamie, slipping behind him to grab a baking sheet off the rack. "You've been out of it all day."

Jasper shrugs, setting the bowl down and reaching for the roll of parchment paper to hand to the other baker. "I know. I've just been thinking."

"About what? Seems like you're reevaluating your whole life." Jamie lines the pan and begins scooping out the sugar cookie batter.

"Nah. I'm pretty content." It's a lie. He hasn't been content since the beginning of his relationship with Seth. He's nice sometimes, though. He gives him a place to stay and he doesn't expect him to pay rent. It's nice. Sometimes. He rips a sheet of plastic wrap off the roll in front of him and covers the frosting.

"You barely even smile." Jamie gives him a pointed look.

Jasper shrugs again and turns to pull the pastries from the beeping oven. "People tell shitty jokes."

"People think you're a psychopath, dude."

"Well, I'm not."

"Well, I know that, but everyone else thinks you're a fuckin' freak."

Jasper snorts at the comment. It reminds him of the music he'd listen to with Salem. Why the hell is Salem on his mind so much lately?

The bell above the front door jingles. Jasper wipes his hands on his apron. "Well, they can think whatever they want. Doesn't affect me. I'll be back."

He steps out to take his position as cashier and looks up to greet the customer. "H...i..."

Standing a few feet in front of him, only separated by a glass case, is his first ex-boyfriend in all his 5'7 glory. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," are the first words out of Salem's mouth.

Jasper sighs and rolls his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Look, I didn't know you worked here. I was hungry. Wanted something sweet. You aren't doing the trick." He takes a few steps towards the case to get a closer look.

Jasper watches carefully while Salem examines the case. He should've known this would happen. His Salem sense has never been wrong before. He starts to put a pair of gloves on. "What do you want?"

"Christ, Jas, that is no way to treat a paying customer. Do I have to report you to your manager?" Salem snorts, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket.

"My manager won't give a fuck, I'm a favorite," Jasper deadpans. He heads towards the strawberry section.

Salem rolls his eyes next, but he follows where Jasper moves. "Well then I guess I'll leave an awful Yelp review. I'll make sure I include your name."

"Cool, thanks. What do you want?" he repeats, gesturing towards the strawberry pastries he knows Salem would pick between. Strawberry was always his favorite.

"So fucking rude. I don't know. Surprise me." Salem waves his hands, a tiny smirk on his face.

Jasper turns away, grabbing a box off the counter behind him and setting it up to place one of their strawberry shortcake parfaits in the center.

"Did you spit in that?" Salem asks, crossing his arms.

Jasper looks up at him, doing his best to look unamused. "No. That'd get me fired."

"Thought you were a favorite."

"It's against food safety." He closes the lid to the box and tapes it shut.

"Hm." Salem is silent for a moment while Jasper cuts the ribbon and starts to wrap the box. "I heard about you and Evan. That must've sucked. I didn't seduce him or whatever, by the way. I know I said I would, but that was his own decision."

"I know." Jasper doesn't look up. He doesn't want to talk about this now. "It's fine. It's been a while. I'm with someone else now."

"Oh yeah?" Salem cocks an eyebrow as Jasper hands the box over the glass.

"Yeah. You don't know him."

"Oh, of course I don't." He smirks again.

Jasper heads to the register. "I'm not just saying that to make myself look less lonely."

Salem follows. "I know. Where'd you meet him? A bar? A rave?"

"I don't do raves anymore." He enters the parfait into the system. "It's $3.62."

Salem fishes a 5 from his wallet and hands it to him. "Neither do I."

"We met at a coffee shop." Jasper counts the change.

"Oh, wow. You must be living your gay fantasies."

Ouch. Yeah. He definitely is. He looks down as he closes the cash drawer. "Yeah. Definitely."

There's an awkward pause where he can feel Salem's eyes on him and he hates it. Salem always stared too much, but he can tell that he's scrutinizing his response. Like it or not, he knows exactly how to read him. He has since they were teenagers.

"There are spoons to your left," Jasper says abruptly. He wants him out.

Salem continues to stare for a moment, but he moves to the left to grab a plastic wrapped spoon. "See you."

"Yeah. Bye." He watches him walk out the door and silently hopes he won't come back. There's a dull ache in his chest that he chalks up to the fist-shaped bruise from the night before. It's naïve, sure, but he'll accept that before the thought of chasing a ship that's long sailed.