more than i can hold in my heart.

la douleur exquise (2)

Miranda walked to the scrub room, and Ben was right behind her. He grabbed her arm, stopping her journey.

"Dr. Bailey, can I talk to you?" He asked seriously.

She frowned slightly. "Of course." She had made sure his father was fine and comfortable, discussing all risks and possible complications with his mom and dad. Ben was right there in the room, knowing everything already, but for the first time, he absorbed the information like his life depended on it. "What is it?"

He held her elbow and dragged him inside a supply closet. The close range with her had him dizzy but he had to do it. "I need you to promise me that my father will make it out of this surgery alive."

Miranda's frown deepened. "Warren, I cannot do that, you know—"

"Yes, I know that it's not ideal. We don't promise anything." He inhaled sharply. "But you're operating on my father. He's my mother's life. They're soulmates, Dr. Bailey. My mother won't survive if he doesn't. She'd already almost lost him once. She's scared out of her mind right now, and the only thing that'll reassure her is him coming out of your OR healthy and alive." He sighed. "So, I want you to promise me that he'll live."

"Ben—"

He ignored the taste of roses in his mouth. "Miranda. Please."

She paused, looking up at him with those big brown eyes. Ben saw the conflict warring inside her, until she closed her eyes and sighed. "Okay, okay. I promise."

He smiled widely, and leaned down to pull her up into a hug excitedly.

Miranda gasped lightly, and wrapped her own arms around him. Ben felt like life was being squeezed out of his heart so he let her go.

"Thank you so much," he said, then left without saying anything else.

-

Ben stayed with his mother in the waiting room, tense and silent. He closed his eyes, trying to rid his mind of complications that could occur. It was routine, a simple surgery, but even those had their risks.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked beside him to see Abigail not looking at him. She squeezed his shoulder, and afterwards, he could feel her trembling. His body relaxed, the stress leaving him as he realized that he wasn't the only one.

Holding a hand to his mother's, he let out a sigh. "Mom, it'll be fine."

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment, then turned to look at him. "I know it will. Your father is a strong man. He won't go without a fight."

Ben nodded. When he turned his head to the side, he spotted Garcia walking over to him. She was the resident in Robert's case. He stood, turning to help his mother up from the chair as they met with her.

She smiled comfortingly at the two of them. There and then, he realized he was well and over her, and that he was truly happy for her. "He did very well, no complications at all. He's being sent up to post-OP, and I can take you there."

The mother-son duo let out a breath of relief. "I'd like that very much," his mother said, tearing up. They walked away, and Ben hung back in the waiting room, knowing his parents would like some alone time. The knowledge that his father was fine was enough for him.

He started walking, mindlessly going through familiar hallways. Before he knew it, he had ended up in OR 2 where his father's operation took place.

Miranda was there, finishing up her notes. He pushed the door open and cleared his throat. She looked up, smiling as she saw him. His blood rushed against his ears. "Hey."