An impossible dream
That is how I will remember this.
Now that our stories are different,
our walk through life has changed.
You brought me back to where I never wanted to stand Dear Darkness.
You managed to bring me back right there.
Not again, not this time. Not him.
You brought me right there with another story with the very same ending.
Fancy isn't it? How I assumed I could have changed that?
The patterns, those vibes, the threats, the dominion I had changed everything, every single detail yet, yet again here I stand with empty hands, submitting myself to you where these loud voices echo those exact same words from the past.
Merging The Fallen Leaf to that of The Wilted Flower.
You know me Dear Darkness,
how cruel I turned when I knew this was gonna take the same turn,
You knew I was petrified of the same outcome to this story.
First the The Fallen and now The Wilted Flower.
How could I have had possibly pulled this out was beyond my comprehension.
But, here I am.
Life never spared mercy, it kept getting hold of me time and time again, but I had you always lurking behind and blending into shadows Dear Darkness.
You were always here holding me up. You tamed my fire and you caressed my hair, you even kissed my cheek so that gulping down that misery could be easy on me.
You made me strong, held me higher this time only to get a show of my doom that would be even better than the last time .
And now that I am ruined because I was turned into your muse, because you painted my soul as dark as your shade now.
It breaks my heart, shatters it into pieces to acknowledge the fact that I know how to fix this. I know how to build myself up again.
It tears me apart that the ruin is more painful now, only because I know this pain might die.
And the The pain of Love never ceases.
The love that I was never destined to.
I never had the nerve for it.
I do not know this anymore now.
I do not know what to do with myself.
It has been an eternal loop of pain, time and time again and I build myself back right up, straight and taut again and again,
again and again.
Because being tired and broken didn't do me any favor.
Life still kept pulling all of its cards, all in one go.
Repeating all the same cycles.
My mind an eternal loop of hell.
I am soo done, soo done playing this part of your favourite muse to you Dear Darkness.
I held it,
I held that light soo close to my heart that I thought I had hope.
I thought I could have escaped you.
I thought I could fix me
I thought the light could teach me just that.
Even though that light was a gift hidden into that Wilted Flower.
I played your muse out of habit.
I ruined it again.
I made you proud.
You reached out to me yet again, dragging me by my foot to own me again.
To taint my head the darkest shade of your dark.
My eyes are tired, soo tired that they might want to shut themselves off and never be opened again but these tears won't stop because you like me when my eyes were always full of them.
I am messed up pretty bad in my head.
But the light understood that.
And I lost it.
I lost the one blooming flower I had, the only sparkle of light that I held.
I ruined it because that was all I had learnt.
For once this time, I wanted to learn how to build anything apart from myself but I shattered those dreams with these very hands.
I had turned the once blooming flower into
The Wilted Flower.
