Scarred ✔

four

.four.

"I forgive you," she said suddenly, and my head snapped up to meet hers. She had a desperate look on her face.

"I know being with a fucker like me can't be easy."

You have no idea.

She got up from her seat and sat next to me.

"How many times did you . . . cheat on me before?" she whispered the last part, biting her lip, her eyebrows furrowed.

I stayed silent for a couple of seconds before mumbling, "Just this one time," and then looked down at my hands.

Whatever problems and fights I had with my girlfriend, cheating on her was totally unacceptable.

Suddenly, she climbed into my lap and cocooned into me, fisting her palm near her chest. She was feeling insecure, and it was because of me.

With a mental sigh, I wrapped my hands around her, giving her a light squeeze of comfort.

I felt her smile against my chest, and I wondered what I had that made her love me and made her feel protected.

Well, you do pretend to love her back . . .

"I'm really sorry for fighting with you," she said softly, and I swear I heard her voice crack.

"I'm sorry too, you know, for-"

"I know," she interrupted and wrapped her hand around my waist, slipping it under my t-shirt, drawing patterns on my skin.

While earlier I used to love it when she did this, today it made me extremely uncomfortable.

But I couldn't move away - not in the current scenario and tensed atmosphere . . .

So I just gritted my teeth, tried to enjoy the feeling of her in my arms; making her feel safe was probably the only thing that I actually enjoyed doing.

"Baby," I started, after five minutes of silence.

"Hmm?"

"Please stop cutting."

She froze for a moment, and then her hand slowly retracted from my waist. She shrugged out of our embrace too, and turned her head away.

I sucked in a deep breath and put my hands on her shoulder, trying to get her to look at me. I brought my hand to her chin and gently twisted her face towards me.

"I have never left you, have I?" I asked her softly.

She shook her head, her eyes watering, but she still didn't look at me in the eye.

"I'm always there for you, aren't I?"

She nodded, her shoulders beginning to shake from trying not to cry, and then she choked out, "Y-Yeah."

"Then I don't understand why you still cut."

"N-Nor do I. The pain feels good, sometimes," she answered after a long period of silence.

My heart constricted in my chest after hearing her answer.

Now that I come to think of it, we had never really spoken about her cutting. I had always supported her by tolerating her behaviour, afraid that if the only person who loved her left, she might try to kill herself again.

"Come here," I mumbled, and kissed her on the lips gently, trying to distract her.

Don't do it . . .

That was where I went wrong, I realized all of a sudden.

I distracted her; tried to take her mind off suicidal thoughts; supported her recklessness.

But never did it cross my mind to make her face her fears.

I tried to protect her.

And after all, for how long could she be protected like this?

I pulled away immediately and got up from my seat.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused.

"I need to get rid of something."

****

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I don't particularly think that this chapter was satisfactory. Or was it? I dunno. You tell me through your comments :)

And vote, please.

I know I haven't updated 'Her Words, Their Story' for a while now, (at least it seems like a while to me :P) and I said earlier that HWTS is the first priority.

Also 'Scarred' won't be long. It's maximum 10 chapters. Maximum. It might be even less than that :/

Oh, and yes . . . SCARRED RANKS #256 IN SHORT STORY, AS OF 9/4/15! YAY! I'M DANCING!! :D

I KNOW I TELL YOU THIS SO MANY TIMES, BUT I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: I LOVE YOU!!!♡♡♡♡

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-Crazy xx