Entry 12 & 13

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i've been learning more and more about self sabotage lately. i didn't realize that was something i specialized in.
someone said "you never let anything go when you feel you are the one who made things the way they are. it's the constant voice saying 'well if you didn't do this or it's your fault it turned out the way it did...' but i know that's not true it's just hard to convince myself otherwise"

so many men that i will say no to, but the second you appear all i want to do is say yes to you.

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