That Little Ember
"Here's your hot Peppermint Mocha, Luis. Enjoy your drink and the holiday," the barista says. "Thanks," I reply with a sincere smile, trying to be cool. "Are you collecting stickers, Luis," he adds, I simply nod. I present my promo card to him and he meticulously puts one sticker on it. "Thanks," I say, I grab my order and trudge back to my seat by the glass wall showing ice-cold flakes falling from above outside, Christmas is definitely around the corner. I start looking at the door, as my eyes squint at people wearing earmuffs, scarves, boots and coats, hoping to see a specific person to enter the shop. I feel like a dog anxiously waiting for its owner to come home or like an owner carefully looking for a dog to adopt. I cupped my hands on my lava-red cup to keep myself warm. "Be cool, Luis, be cool. Don't act weird, don't creep him out, just relax," I nervously say to myself, shaking my head. I silently stare at my drink, not having a single sip from it yet and wonder why I came all the way to the city that never sleeps just for this guy I met online.
I feel a vibration coming from my back pocket and it instantly sent chills to my spine. I wait for a minute before taking my phone from my back and see a message from my friend, Nina, and I let out a sigh of relief.
Nina: Is he there yet?
Me: No.
Nina: So, is he really gonna show up?
Me: I hope not.
Nina: He's just fashionably late. You'll do great.
Me: I'm just fashionably early. No, I'm gonna suck.
Sweat begin to trickle from my forehead down to my cheeks, I don't have the energy to even rub it off because of the nauseating feeling. This wouldn't be happening if I haven't accidentally liked his profile on Tinder a few weeks ago. I was bored and my body started to cling to my phone and open the app to stare at hot guys, as if I was looking someone to prey. I slid my thumb every second the screen to the left to reject guys with unsatisfying look as though as I was checking a dumb student's math test. My sliding finally came to a stop when my eyes started to lock at a man's profile. Minutes after accidentally liking his account, a notification popped out in my screen. "We have a match! You guys liked each other. Send a message or keep looking?" My body automatically went frigid, just as I was about to unlike this dude, I received a message from him, "Hey." Shit, I thought. I clicked the lock screen and heaved a long sigh, gasping for air, eyes shut, arms folded, hoping to stop the queasy feeling down in my stomach. I finally opened my phone and replied back, "hey." That's where it started. I got to know him in a span of a week. I felt like I've already known him for years. I've felt a connection with him. Every time I hear a sound coming from my phone, chills started to overcome my body. My fingers always shiver every time I open my phone. My heart races every time he's online. Those little moments that make you smile helplessly no matter how small it is. I liked the way how he talks about dogs and how he doesn't eat burgers and I love that he's sharing these things to me and not to someone else. He's smart, funny, hot, a loving brother, hot, funny. I didn't have the words to describe him. Like when you see something that you thought you already knew that thing but then suddenly you realize that there's still so many things that you haven't discovered yet. As though as owning a doll that you didn't know it's a talking doll. I didn't have an inkling of why he liked me on Tinder, was there something that I have and others didn't? Was he attracted to me? I covered my face with my hand and I shook my head and laughed to that thought.
"Hey, I have a question?"
"?"
"What do you see in me that made you want to talk to me?"
"You seemed like a decent guy."
"What do you mean decent? There's nothing so decent on my profile."
"Okay fine. I liked your smile. I liked how it showed two deep dimples on your cheeks. It's the kind of smile that makes you want to that person to laugh because he deserves it. You have those sincere eyes that could light up a freaking disco ball .Or it's just me finding you cute. You happy now? "
Did he just say that I was cute? My face went crimson.
"Is it wrong?"
"wrong what?"
"Is it wrong to find you cute?"
This was all new to me. No one has ever found me cute. I never even had a long conversation with a guy before. Until now, I could feel my heart crawling up to my throat. I was unconsciously biting my lip and it came to me the question. Was he flirting?
I tried to act nonchalantly. "I guess not at all."
"And is it wrong to find you adorable?"
"Now you're just playing with me. But no, not at all"
"Good, because you had no Idea how much I wanted to tell you that. And no, don't flatter yourself."
"Okay I won't :)"
BUZZ, and just that, I wake up from my reverie. I feel another vibration coming from my pocket. I guess Nina is just plain concerned about me. "You've been waiting for like 3hours now. You should come home and let's just hang." I look at my watch and it's already 5pm. She's right. He's not coming. This was a mistake. I made a mistake. I knew he wasn't interested. I feel a pang of pain inside my chest. I shouldn't have come here. But there's this hope that's still keep me hanging, that's keeping me from going of the shop, and that maybe, there's still a little time to meet this guy.
I'm still hoping. Like a little ember from a melted candle wax that's waiting to be blown. I guess it's time to blow out that candle. I stand up and grab my drink; I could feel it's not warm anymore. I'm leaving the shop and there's no more hope to make me stay, at least I had a great me day this Christmas. I'm few feet away from the door and it suddenly sprang open, the bells above giddily jingle. A man that looks the same age as mine with a bright brown hair and cerulean eyes standing before me. He stares at me as if I was an item on sale. My cheeks begin to flush scarlet. His lips part agape; he has these thick eyebrows that shows his masculinity. I can't believe this is happening. He starts to smile and it immediately sends chills to my spine. "Hey,"
I could have sworn I blew that candle.
