Blue ( levi X reader )

Chapter 10.5

I couldn't fall asleep that night. The potato soup made me think about my mother and brother who dearly I missed them. The last she heard about my family was my mother's pregnancy and engagement to the baby's father. I knew the man my mother chose to marry was good for her and my brother.

That was enough for me to go away quietly. At least I knew my mother and brother would have a better, happier life now and move on to be a family filled with love and stability.

I crawled out of bed, and sneaked out onto the roof for some fresh air. It was a full moon. The barren glowing white sphere in the sky stood alone surrounded by dark sky and the stars that came out play. I hugged my knees to my chest.

The cool night wind caressed my skin as if it were placing a comforting hand over my shoulder. That tight feeling in my chest loosened as I continue to take in the scenery.

"It's a beautiful moon, isn't it?" a male voice asked, breaking the peaceful silence. My heart nearly dropped out of my ass, small droplets cold sweat formed on my back as I peered up. Levi stood not too far away, hands shoved into his pockets.

"Mhmm..." I replied. "You scared me."

"Sorry, it wasn't my intention."

"It's fine," I brushed off. I pat the empty spot beside me inviting Levi to sit. He took his spot one leg dangling down the roof and the other propped up to rest his hand. I leaned my cheeks into my knees, letting my hair drape to one side of my head. "What are you doing up so late?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same."

"Your soup," I started. Levi curiosly raised his eyebrows.

"My soup is good," he stated wholeheartedly.

"Delicious, actually. It reminded me a lot of my mother's cooking," I continued.

"Oh? Thank you?" He turned his head, "Your mother must be a good cook then."

"Best cjef in the world I reckon. I'd kill to be able to eat with her again."

"I'm sorry for your lost..."

I chuckled. "Mama's alive and well; She's not dead-well, I hope she isn't. It's been a while since I've seen her."

"Why not look for her?"

"It's for their own good. My leaving gave them an opportunity at a better life."

"Why do you say that?"

"I made some enemies," I opened up. "I chose to leave my family behind for a second chance at life when I made that mistake. It's selfish, I know."

I tilted my head up letting the cool wind kiss my cheeks. "What kind of daughter does that?" I lived with the guilt and disappointment of leaving my mother and brother behind. I guess that would be my lifetime punishment for the selfish choice I made.

"One who loves her family enough to play dead, apparently."

I looked back down at Levi. His dark hair swaying in the wind gently. The moonlight softening his rough but handsome features. His cold grey eyes warm with emphathy. He leaned back slightly as his head tipped up.

"Do you want to look for them?"

"Yes and no. I'd like to know how they're doing but I'd never be able to forgive myself if something ever happens to them."

"I could help you track your family discreetly," he offered.

My heart skipped a beat, sucking in a breath, eyes widened at the offer. "You would do that?"

"Mhmm," he nodded, glancing back down at me. The reassurance and determination gleaming behind his eyes drilled holes beyond the void in my mind.

"But wouldn't that trouble you? You already have so much work," I said.

"You could share my workload when it gets too heavy in exchange."

I smiled, "Fair enough. I'd love that. Thank you, Levi." We sat in silence, admiring the night sky and not minding each other's presence. Thoughts about my family and the different scenarios that could possibly play out ran through my mind. An image of Levi, flashed by and I wondered...

"What was your family like?" I asked, curious about his past. Levi's origins and coming about to the Survey Corps were a mystery. I had my suspicions but I didn't want to push it.

"I never knew my father. My mother died of an illness when I was a young boy. We didn't have the money to afford treatment and medicine. I remember her being the most loving, hopeful woman," he lamented, "My uncle raised me, taught me how to survive and just disappeared. And since then, I met two people who would be the only family I ever knew. Then died on our first expedition beyond the walls."

"Oh..." My heart aches for his loss. First his mother, then his uncle, and presumably his closest friends.

"Don't say you're sorry. No one could have predicted that tragedy. I prefer to hold on to the good memories I have of them."

"I'm sure they're watching you from the stars..."

"Tch. Those two bastards better be. Call it a favour for tolerating their bullshit and taking care of them," he joked. I laughed. How Levi manages to turn a sentimental and emotional situation into something more light-hearted is past my knowledge.

Levi's lips turned up in a small satisfied smiled. I couldn't hold back a grin, a smile from Levi was a rare and beautiful thing.

"Why do you look like that?" he asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"You should smile more often. It looks good on you."

He leaned forward, an eyebrow raised. "Oh really? So I don't look good without a smile?"

"Did I say that, Ackerman?" I rebutted crossing my arms across my chest.

He in leaned in closer forward, our faces inches apart, a mischievous smile across his face. "Cheeky," he said flicking my nose.

"Hey!" I swat his hand away. Levi chuckled, a hearty, lovely sound. I couldn't help but stare at his face, memorising the gentle smile, an image that I never want to forget.

We stayed outside a little longer until the chilly night convinced us to go back inside the warm interior. Levi accompanied me back to my room, on the way back to his.

"I'll see you bright and early tomorrow?" he wished.

I groaned. "Bright and early."

He chuckled. "I'm joking. Get some rest, we'll train when you're at your peak."

"Did I ever tell you that you're the best Captain I've ever had?"

"No, but good to know."

"Goodnight, Levi," I wished. "Do try try to get some sleep."

"I'll try. Goodnight," he said closing the door behind him. I crawled back under the covers and closed my eyes. The image of him smiling on top of that roof lingered in the back of my mind, my heart skipping ever so slightly as my mind drifted into sleep.

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Word count: 1160