Bad babysitter

OverHeated

AN: you can start the music any time you want but I recommend that you start it when the story tells you so it can match up. Either way enjoy!

*Haileys POV*

Its Thursday and school so far has been hell but also heaven at the same time, what do i mean?

Well lately me and belle have been getting closer, ever since the day after IT happened and belle comforted me we have gotten closer..

i really like her shes fun to be around, im still not really over the fact that we had that moment.. "you look stressed.." man... Besides that ive noticed that shes been kind of touchy with me recently like sometimes she hugs me randomly and puts her arms around me, or sometimes she holds my hand.  And believe me i dont mind...

But on the other hand the whole evan situation has been stressing me out, ever since that night hes been so mean and cold towards me as if I did something wrong- as if i would even care, he literally violated me and now he wants me to beg for his forgiveness I honestly cant deal with him he still gives me nightmares.. i know eventually ill have to say something but right now my head is all over the place. i just cant... I think im getting worse too..

its 6am and im up in bed on my phone before i have to go to school just scrolling through insta and then i see that evan posted something, it was him and kayla hanging out together. They looked like a couple, a real one.

I know he just posted that to make me jealous and hurt but I couldn't help but feel stupid for even believing that he would actually care about me, i feel so stupid for believing that he was the one. Ugh. I could feel those stupid tears fall down my face and on to my pillows.. How could he..? I still get flash backs of what happened and no matter how hard i try to block it out it still hurts..

i laid there crying at literally 6am in the morning in my bed i was so caught up i didnt even hear belle coming up the stairs. Once i heard her knocking on the door I panicked and wiped my tears immediately trying to atleast look like i wasnt balling my eyes out. "H-hold on.." i said startled. "I cant let her know" i said to myself.. i got up and opened the door trying keep it together.

"Hey.. do you maybe just.. not wanna go to school today?" She asked hopefully.

My eyes lit up uh yes the fuck? I cant handle school today "i mean hell yeah.. but why not though?" I asked.

"Well.. uh i just dont really feel like it today i have something to do so uh.. you can have the house to yourself for a few hours" she said.

I was suspicious i mean sure she can have stuff to do and shit but- its 6 in the morning... I decided not to pry and just let her off. "I mean.. i guess thats fine just dont be doing weird shit out this early.." she chuckled "nah baby, im not gonna be out here doing stupid shit" she fiddled with her back pocket where her switch blade was.. she smirked. Baby..? Shit.. "Good" i smiled. We went downstairs, she already had clothes on so she was about to leave, once we were at the door i said bye. "Bye loser" then suddenly she kissed my cheek and left. It was quick so i didnt realise at first but then i started blushing super hard. WTF WAS THAT.

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"How to tell if you're gay" all these stupid quizzes and articles aren't helping... i flipped over on my back on my bed looking up at the ceiling... am i gay..? I mean girls look good.. ive always been with boys though.. when im around belle i feel something ive never felt before but when im with evan he just feels so familiar and safe. Not anymore. Oh right. He literally raped me.. that kiss made me forget about all the things hes done.. she made me forget about evan in general. I need to break up with him. But i cant.. what if he hurts me? I hate everything... i hate myself..