No one knows what love truly is. It doesn't matter who you ask you will always get a slightly different answer.
People tell us that they love us. Family, Friends and Lovers, but how do we know what they tells us is the truth? They say nice things, buy us things, comfort us. All these different things to show us that they love us.
How do you know if someone truly loves you and mean what they say? How do you know their actions are full of meaning? How do we know that they aren't just doing it for their own motive?
In my opinion, I have no idea how to know if someone loves me. I used to think I did, but after so much heartbreak and disappointment i doubt all "love". In the past i thought the fact that they would listen and show they care meant they loved me, i thought that if they protect me and say they love me they meant it. I thought all the words of love, comfort, caring all these things that people say means someone loves you. I thought they all meant that, I believed that these things meant someone loved me.
I was shown all of these things but yet i was still hurt. I was cheated on and manipulated and used. I was lied to just for their own pleasure and amusement. I now doubt whenever someone tells me those three words, because how can i truly know they mean it? Many people i had been with used me and broke my trust. If they didn't use me and break my trust they would bring me down to a major low point in my mental health.
Even with family i don't know if they truly mean in. How can you love someone who feels like they are your personal maid? I grew up depressed but no one in my house would ever see it because i would always hide it, i didn't see a point in showing how i really felt. Growing up i got called names such as Lazy, Drama Queen, Attention Seeker, Bitch, Cow, and Slapper (Slut, Whore, ect all as 1 word) and many more. I remember things growing up like trying to tell my parents things that were bothering me, telling them what i was feeling but i was always shut down with being told things such as, "You don't know what stress is" or something that basically said, it doesn't matter how you feel cause i feel worse. I remember my auntie who has extreme anxiety to the point she can rarely leave her house was over and she was asking me questions and basically said to me she thought i have anxiety. She told my mum this and when my auntie left my mum came up to me in aloud stern tone she said in my face, "Did you tell your auntie that you have anxiety!" i was like what? and i told her no because i didn't think i had anxiety, yet she still didn't believe me. On many case's I would always be in the wrong. I would be made to make tea whenever my parents ask, I'd be told I have to do this or do that. If i didn't do things they "asked" me to do I would basically be called lazy and ungrateful.
