I need to laugh...

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John at Jackie's funeral: can i have a moment alone with him? Ali: yeah ok *leaves* John: *leans over Jackie's coffin* listen here you little shit

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John at Jackie's funeral: can i have a moment alone with him?
Ali: yeah ok *leaves*
John: *leans over Jackie's coffin* listen here you little shit...
Jackie: *snickers*
John: i know you're not dead
Jackie: *semi-muffled* no shit.

Thank Xenatracyisgo For this inspiration.

Alix: dad i want a pet

Colonel White: no.

Alix: please?

Colonel: no Alix.

Alix: but Calum has Ashes, the cat, and Eliza has Ollie the bird!

Colonel: WHAT!

Eliza: actually my "bird" is a Phoenix!

Colonel: how come i didn't know about this?

Alix: because niether of the things leave their rooms!

Colonel: the Lieutenants or their pets?

Zara: (over coms) BOTH!!

Alix: well yes.

Calum: HEY!

Eliza: their not wrong

Zara: Exactly!

-Mayhem

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