A Collection Of Crack Fics

The Fish Fetish

Panic! At the Disco / Fall Out Boy

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Ryan Ross's POV
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Ryan was crying. The love of his life, Brendon, left him for someone else. Ryan had never felt more alone as he cried rainbow glitter.

He left me because I'm different. Because I'm a freak, Ryan thought.

This made Ryan sob harder. He curled into a ball and cried his heart out, as painful as it was. It hurt to cry, because he cried glitter. But he cried anyway. Ryan's sobs were interrupted by Pete Wentz, who had entered the room to see why there was a dying whale in it. He was instead greeted by a sobbing Ryan Ross.

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Pete Wentz's POV
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For fucks sake, not again, Pete thought.

"Ryan, what happened this time?" Pete sighed. "B-Brendon l-eft m-me", he stuttered. I reached out my hand and he took it. I hauled him up. "Come on", I said softly.

I led him into Panics! dressing room. Only Dallon was there. I sat him down on the couch and pulled a chair over to sit in front of him. Only then did Dallon look up from his guitar

"What's going on?" he asked. I ignored him, focusing on Ryan. He was a good friend and I hated seeing him like this. "What happened, Ryan?" I asked, my voice barely a whipser. "Brendon left me..for someone else. H-he said it was because I'm a f-freak", he replied. "Why are you are freak?" I question but straight away I saw them. Little multicoloured pieces of glitter mixed with his tears. "Oh..", was all I could say. I got up and left the room,unsure of what to do.

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Patrick Stump's POV
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I was sitting on the couch with Joe, playing Call Of Duty when my boyfriend, Pete, walked in. I barely noticed him though, as I was trying to play this impossible game. I shot Joe and killed his character.

"SORRY", I yelled, looking at Joe.

As I looked away from the screen, my character died and Joe just shuck his head. I then turned my attention to Pete and was instantly worried.

"What's up?" I asked.

Pete didn't say anything, which made me worry even more. He grabbed my hand and led me down the corridor. He told me what was happening with Ryan and that he didn't know what to do. I nodded. I knew I had to do something to cheer Ryan up. We made our way to Panics! dressing room and were face-to-face with the door, when Pete halted.

"I can't go in there", he said. Before I could say anything, he ran off leaving me confused.

I opened the door to see Ryan staring into space and Dallon playing his guitar quietly in the corner. I went and sat on the chair in front of Ryan. I noticed the little multicoloured dots mixed with his tears. It was weird, all right bit it didn't make him a freak. He was still Ryan. What didn't make sense though, is Brendon. Why would he leave Ryan so suddenly? I shuck my head, trying to get myself to stop over thinking things.

"Ryan?" I said softly. "I know you love Brendon, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Maybe it didn't work out with the salmon..but there's plenty of cod out there.." I said, reminding myself to punch myself later.

Ryan didn't say anything for a while. It felt like hours, sitting there. I thought about Pete. I loved him, but there was something I loved just a tiny bit more than him.

~~~~Flashback to that morning~~~~

I got up and dressed. I ate breakfast in silence, scrolling through my phone as I always did every morning. Pete was away visiting his son, Bronx so I was alone in our shared apartment. Maybe I could, I thought, just for a while. It's not like Pete would find out anyway. I practically ran upstairs out of excitement. I rushed to the bed and pulled a box out from under it. I opened it and almost squealed. I grabbed the marker and drew them on carefully, using a mirror. I checked myself out. Oh, I had missed them. My precious, I thought, my precious sideburns. I always did this when Pete wasn't here. He couldn't ever know. He wouldn't understand

~~~~ Back To Reality ~~~~

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Ryan Ross's POV
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I just stared at Patrick unsure of what to say. I barely even noticed the boner he had. I got mad. I was angry for some reason and I didn't know what it was.

"I don't want cod, I want salmon!" I yelled. "Whoa! Ryan has a fish fetish now? What happened to the milk thing?" Dallon said.

I started to cry. My eyes hurt because of the glitter but I ignored the pain. Pete must've come in at some time because he walked over to me and sat on the floor. He had a tissue in his hand and he started to clean my face because my makeup had run.

He looked at me dead serious and said "Don't cry...craft"

A/N!
Hey guys! This is the first of many crack fics to come. I won't be updating this on a schedule as such, just whenever I have an idea. I won't be updating often because I am working on my killjoy fanfiction, which will be published as soon as I write the first few chapters. If you guys have an prompts for this, feel free to message me! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and enjoy what's to come!

~ my_chemical_fall_out