Who You Say I Am (A Jai Courtney Fanfic)

Chapter 3-Meg

Meg

I flush my face with water once again before heading down to dinner.  I saw a sign for the dining hall when I entered so I stride in that direction. 
"There you are," Pastor Ben smiles when I enter the room.  He gives me a massive, demolishing hug and it does help substantially.  "Why don't we pray and enjoy some of this wonderful Jamaican hospitality?"
I smile and nod.
He prays over the food, thanking the ladies from the local church for preparing it. He prays for our time here together and I realize he's still holding on to me with one arm, grounding me.  I thought I looked okay but maybe I do still have some remnants of a crying girl on my face. 
When he finishes, he walks me over to the food. I'm a little hesitant at first since I'm unsure of what exactly the dishes are so Ben dives in first. This isn't his first year here so I'm sure he's familiar with many of the local dishes.  I follow taking a small scoop of everything that he does. 
"Be careful with the hot sauce here," he warns.  "Even if you generally like it, it's more spicy than back home.  They really like spices and heat here so be careful.  The rice and carb dishes are usually fairly safe."
"Thanks for the tip," I smile.  "What's this one?"
"Plantains.  They're like bananas but they can taste like potatoes if they were green," he tells me. 
I take some of those. I've actually heard about them before but never tried them.  I follow him to a table and he begins eating, smiling at me. 
"I've missed these so much," he tells me. 
I laugh.  "Doesn't your wife cook for you?" I tease. 
"Of course.  We both cook at home but there's just something special about the food here.  This year we're joining in the cooking process so maybe I'll take some skills back home with me," he grins. 
The tables fill in and everyone begins chatting.  I realize they're all fairly close and I'm a bit of an outsider. 
"So, Megan?" Pastor Ben asks me gently.  "Are you familiar with everyone on the trip?"
I shake my head a little embarrassed. 
"That's fine," he says patting my back comfortingly.  "We're going to do some introductions.  All of the ladies here tonight are new for most everyone else, too.  We'll just introduce everyone at once."
"Thank you," I say softly. 
"Anytime, Megan," he says grinning.  "You know, Pastor Gill was telling me how much of a help you've been for him at Riverview.  He tells me every time something comes up—a death, a sickness, when someone needs a break—you're always there to help fill in the gaps.  He doesn't know what he'd do without you."
I laugh surprised, blushing that the pastors talk about me.  That was really something nice to say.  It definitely makes me feel valued and appreciated.  I look around and see all of the smiling, happy faces surrounding me.  I realize that I shouldn't feel overwhelmed.  I know I'm a bit shy with new people but when it comes to serving God, He gives me that extra boost of encouragement... or sometimes it's just my fear of disappointing the one I love most.  I feel as if I'd do anything God asks me to do. 
My thoughts are interrupted by someone nearby waving in pain.  I slide over my glass of milk.  He takes a big drink. 
"Thanks, Megan," he says in relief.  "I should've listened to Pastor Ben."
I laugh in surprise.  "Brother Alvin," the south side church pastor whispers to me. 
"You're welcome, Brother Alvin," I grin and I realize, it's not forced. 
I focus back on my plate feeling my appetite somewhat returning. I try those plantains and they are just like potatoes. I continue on the rest of my plate when I feel a buzz from my phone. I must've forgotten to turn it off. I pull it out of my pocket and look at it. I drop it in surprise on the table. Pastor Ben picks up my phone and starts to hand it back when he sees who was calling. It jumps to voicemail.
"Has he been calling you?" he asks me.
"I don't know," I admit in a daze. "I shut my phone off for the flight. I turned off all other notifications days ago."
"That's probably for the best," he tells me. "Can I give you some pastoral advice?"
I look up to meet his eyes and I see concern there—for a sister, part of his family, and also someone he mentors. I nod.
"Your parents and Pastor Gill have told me what's going on," he starts. "I may know more than you at this point if you haven't looked at your social media or even texts from anyone. My advice to you is that I would look at what you need to later tonight if you're up for it. I would not respond to anything offensive whatsoever. Then pray about it... probably before and after. But if he keeps calling you like this after what he's done that you don't even know about, well, I personally would block him from contact with you."
"Is it that bad?" I ask worriedly.
He looks hesitant to say anything to me. I know he's a pastor and it looks like an internal struggle for him to say what's on his mind. "I would look at it later and decide what you think," he says. "I wouldn't worry about it now. Remember that you are here to serve God and he needs you showing compassion to his children. Trust me, this area is bursting with love. You will see it. But they need you just as much as you need them. I ask for God to give you the strength you need to carry out his work."
I frown at how sweet and caring his words were. I'm touched that a church acquaintance of mine has such wisdom about my situation. I nod in understanding though. "How are you this wise?" I tease.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James‬ ‭1:5‬," he tells me easily in response.
I smile in reply. He sighs and notices everyone finishing their food. He excuses himself and goes to speak with Sister Ini. The two of them stand before the room of people and begin introductions. Pastor Ben starts with our table and I'm oddly asked to come up first. I smile and rise waving shyly to the group of people from our south church and the local Jamaican church.
He introduces me to everyone explaining that I'm the only volunteer from Riverview Community Church and how our other missionary is ill. He actually tells them all a little about me—how I just graduated from college last semester, that I assist in the nursery, kid's church, help out at teen services, fill in for worship, and regularly run the church's Sunday hospitality outreach. He also mentions how I've helped my mother prepare the men's breakfasts for the last two years. I blush a little embarrassed at the applause from the crowd. I see Brother Alvin whistling. I'm sure he likes my mother's cinnamon rolls since they were talked about for months later.
I take my seat once more and pay close attention when he introduces the rest of the visitors from Southview Community Church. Brother Alvin comes up with his wife, Aquila. I smile at how she shares a name with one of the people in Acts. They're both a dark skinned couple, looking very much in love. While Alvin is tall, his wife is about medium height for a woman. She's very slim with short cropped hair. Her husband has a medium build and keeps his head shaved. They explain that now that their children have all grown up and moved on, they're looking forward to participating in more missions trips in the future. Alvin regularly works the sound at the south church along with assisting in the church offices. Aquila assists with the babies and youth. She runs the vacation bible school in the summers. I should help out with that this summer.
The next couple is younger, probably in their mid-thirties. Their names are Luis and Angela. They're very affectionate, always holding hands and looking into each other's eyes smiling. Luis is a contractor and Angela usually stays home with their two children. They're having her mother watch the kids for the duration of the trip. Luis is kind of a medium height to shorter for a man but has a strong physique for his size. He has a buzz cut and a goatee. Angela is lovely with long hair and a curvaceous figure. Her amber eyes are striking and noticeable from across the room. They're somewhat newer members and this is their first missionary trip. I smile at that but I recall that I went on a separate trip during my minor certification and visited a few churches so this is technically my second missions trip.
Gale is next. She has lighter skin and the most striking smile. Her hair is short and she's a little on the small side for height and weight. She was just hired in the offices for a part-time position. She is currently studying to become a minister. I smile that she's so passionate about ministry.
I realize the rest are all single and most likely in their twenties or thirties. The men are Floyd, Izaak, Jamal, Hakeem, Efrem, Khalan, Rashaad, Juan, Carlos, and Javier. The women are Nova, Serenity, Jada, Neveah, Shanice, Valentina, Isabella, and Bianca.
Pastor Ben has the ladies from the Jamaican church stand at the front of the room with him.  He goes through all of their names listing them off.  There is Sister Ini—who I think we all know by now—Sisters Abigay, Cedella, Martisha, Kalisa, Amoy, Jaqweshia, and Dymond. 
I have to admit, I feel a bit overwhelmed now that I've heard all of their names. There are so many that I doubt I'll remember them all. There are a few that stick out, though, so that's good—better than before.
Pastor Ben explains the itinerary again, passing out papers with schedules and pencils. I see that we're visiting a hospital in the morning and giving some of our donations of toys and gifts there. "So, make sure you bring what you've intended for the hospital trip tomorrow," he continues. "If it's substantial, just empty out one of your suitcases and bring it in that. We will be using the hotel bus for much of our transportation needs. We'll rotate the seats around to be fair. We'll return for a late lunch and have some free time afterward. If you want to explore the city, feel free but it would be preferable if you don't go anywhere on your own. Always go out in groups. This area is safer than some but there have been some odd occurrences in the past. It's better to be safe than sorry."
He explains further the food preparation situation. He asks that we all share the duties and asks for volunteers. I raise my hand and mark the days preferable while we're here in this location. In the mountains, the church there will cook all the days but there won't be any foreign conveniences. He mentions that there are two restrooms—male and female—with showers. He recommends that if we need any laundry for the duration there, to wash it here by the time we leave on Monday morning. There will be atypical sleeping arrangements there as well—ladies together and men together for the most part, sleeping bags and divided tents.
The rest of the itinerary is gone over along with the mention of our free days. We chat a little more and fine tune the details. We're all free to go and I overhear some of the girls talking about going down to the beach.
"Do you mind if I join you?" I ask a little shyly.
"No, not at all, Megan," Gale replies smiling. "Why don't we all get dressed for the beach and meet in the lobby to walk down there?"
I grin gratefully in reply. We separate and I head to my room pulling out my suitcase. I shuffle through my things in search of a swimsuit. I grab one and change quickly putting some shorts, a T-shirt, and some flip flops on. I grab a towel from the bathroom. As I'm about to grasp the doorknob, I hear a buzzing from my phone again. I realize it's in my pants pocket on the bed. I pull it out to see that it's Spencer again. I sigh shakily and dismiss the call. I'll consider seeing if he left me a voicemail later.
I step out and join the girls in the lobby. We all wave to each other and introduce ourselves once more. I'm traveling with Nova, Serenity, Jada, Neveah, Shanice, and Gale. Nova is really tall with long tiny braids. She's fairly young though, maybe about twenty. Serenity is kind of quiet compared to the chatter of the rest. She's medium height with a bob haircut. She has her hair covering one of her eyes. Jada is kind of a medium build for a girl—rather muscular—with a creamy light mocha skin and green eyes. Her hair is cut short to her ears and wavy. The rest is actually buzzed below that. Neveah is bubbly and all smiles. She seems incredibly passionate about any subject broached. She has several larger braids in her hair—black at the scalp going down to her waist and turning an unnatural shade of red from her shoulders down. Shanice is extremely thin and almost wiry. She looks the oldest out of the group—possibly close to thirty. Her hair is straight and stops just after her shoulders.
We stride out of the front door each wearing sandals of some sort and strolling down the pavement. It's kind of like rolling hills and is a little difficult at first but I get the hang of walking down such a decline in flip flops quickly. We pass some stores selling all sorts of goods, homes, food stands, peddlers... etc.
I listen in on the ladies talking about how excited they are to be here. It sounds like this is their first mission trip, too.
"Megan, I heard your went somewhere before this," Gale comments. "Pastor Ben said so."
"Yeah," I shrug.
"Well, where'd you go?" Serenity asks excitedly.
"I studied the Japanese language in college. I minored in it and had to take a trip there to complete the course credit.  Afterwards, I did some missions work there.  I just stayed on for a few weeks afterward and changed my flight to be later," I shrug.
"You've been to Japan?" Nova says surprised. She seems completely intrigued. I nod in response. "What'd you do there?"
I explain how we visited some cities, did some home stays, I did an internship at a museum, and I stayed with a family near the church I helped out at. They did some outreach there, similar to what we're doing here.
"That's incredible. How'd you do speaking the language?" Shanice inquires.
"It was tough," I admit. "I realized how little of the language I actually understood. The longer I was there, the more I was able to understand and speak, though. Reading the Bible in Japanese was ridiculously complex. It would give me the worst headaches."
"I've seen the writing," Jada nods. "That would be so hard to learn."
I nod in response. We chat a little more and I realize how much I have in common with these girls. They're all excited about being here and looking forward to doing more things like this in the future. We arrive at the beach and even though this isn't a resort, it's still unbelievably breathtaking. There are some large trees for shade on the beach with all sorts of palms and brush surrounding the outer sandy area. There are a few people down here but it's not terribly crowded. Some lively reggae music is playing and it makes you just want to smile. I see some youths playing soccer on the beach.
"You want to swim first?" Gale asks.
"Sure," we all easily agree.
We drop our towels and flip flops in a heap away from the groups of people and remove our excess clothing before heading to the water together. It's so warm and much calmer than what I remember my family trips to Myrtle Beach being like. The waves would just about knock you over. Here, it's gentle and relaxing. We swim for a bit, laughing and messing around. Everyone nearby is so friendly. We start to head back when it's close to sunset. We disperse at the lobby going our separate ways. I get to my room and I dig in my bag for my toiletries. I close the curtains before I peel off my damp clothes and take a quick shower. I come out in a towel and find my nightclothes slipping them on.
I sit on the bed staring at my cell phone wondering if I want to know what's going on. I decide to pray for guidance. There's only silence at first. I feel like at times I hear God so clearly and understand his will for me, at others I really don't know what to do. I feel like maybe I ought to listen to any voicemails and read any texts I've received but that I ought to stay off social media. I decide that's probably the best plan not to get me riled up. It's one of the many reasons I dislike getting on those so much—they're just a medium for people to dump their unfiltered hate onto others and I don't want to be a part of it. I check my voicemail to see I have three messages from Spencer. I play the most recent.
"Megan, it's me. Look, I'm so sorry. I just want to work this thing out. We were going to get married. I still want to. Can't you give me another chance? Call me back, honey," his recorded voice says.
I sigh and shake that message away from my mind. I play the next.
"I don't know why you're being like this. Stop ignoring me. How can you just throw what we have away like this over a simple one time mistake? You're supposed to be forgiving. If you don't forgive me, how can you call yourself a Christian?" he says harshly and hangs up.
I blink at the audacity of his words. His behavior was actual grounds that Jesus said would be acceptable for divorce and we weren't even married yet. I press play on the last one—technically the first one. 
"Megan, pick up!" he shouts. "You are not leaving me and we are not over. Get your butt back here and sort out the mess you made! Everything is set and you are going through with the wedding. If you don't get back here immediately, I will cancel your contract. Do you hear me? You will be out of a job and I will black list you from every company in this region of the country. Either you get back here now or you will regret it. Nobody leaves a Blaze!"
There's another slam and a dial tone. That was his work phone. I sigh again. I'm so glad not to be attached to that man anymore. I wonder what I was thinking to even fall for his charm.  I look at my left hand still seeing the indentation from the engagement ring. I'm so glad I gave that back.
I open up my texts to see I have over a hundred messages. I didn't even think I have that many acquaintances. I see some are from my parents and they're concerned, some from my brothers too. They're fine—I talked to Mom. I see several more from Spencer. They're the same kind of behavior—either yelling cruelty in text form or manipulative pleading for me to come back to him. I see several unknown numbers. Some are people from church giving me their condolences, others are friends of the family. I figure Mom is probably online—which is how everyone knows. Knowing her, she's probably doing prayer requests for me from every acquaintance she's ever had—which may be a few people here since she used to work in the church offices. I think I'll call her again because I really don't want to see what other drama there is over social media. I select her number and she picks up on the second ring.

"Is everything okay, Megan, dear?"

"Yeah, I'm actually okay. I just wanted to let you know I'm having fun."

"You don't sound convincing."

"Well, I did just hear three messages from Spencer on my voicemail—two were pretty terrible. His texts were about the same."

"Did you go on Facebook?"

"No, I'm thinking of avoiding social media for the trip."

"Good. Stay off of there for a while."

"Is there something I should be made aware of?"

"You enjoy your break. Do some good. Spread some love. Then, come home and we'll talk about what he's done."

"Okay. How's everyone doing?"

"Eh, we're all snowed in. It's at twelve inches already and counting. We're all wishing we were with you. I saw that Gale posted pictures of you girls at the beach. You look beautiful and happy.  She also had her dinner plate online. I saw you in the background talking to Pastor Ben."

"Yeah, the food was good. It's pretty interesting. I'm concerned about you though. Twelve inches? Do you have enough food? Is the snow blower working?"

"This may be some sort of record. We stopped at the store after dropping you off. The shelves were a little picked over but we're good. We should have enough food for the three of us for a month. Your father and Michael have been taking turns with the snow so I think we're good."

"How long is it predicted to last?"

"At least two more days, I think. This will probably be a record. All the schools have canceled for Monday and Tuesday."

"Even the universities?"

"Most businesses, too. Except emergency stores. Anyone who can work from home is. We're at a level three and it's not expected to lift until the snow stops."

"Alright, I'll be praying all goes well. I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"The same to you. I love you too, honey. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I hang up and I realize there must be so much more that they're not telling me. I don't worry about it. I say my prayers and get settled into bed.