MARK's POV
I felt the warm embrace of the sun in my skin. August summer is the best. It defines the beauty of the land and the sea. It enable us to see how intense and saturated the natural wonders could be.
I wish I could explore places like this with him.
I sighed loudly.
Kahit na galit na galit ako, hindi ko pa rin magawang makalimot. I tried my very best not to look for him. But it only took a month to know that he went to Italy to meet his father.
Damn it. I even hoped that he will come home. But a year after that, he continued to work in cruise... again.
I was so mad.
I am frustrated about his decisions!
Why would he leave me like that?
Maybe he thinks that being an asshole will help me forget about him? That if he make one more mistake again, I'll stop loving him? Fuck. That wasn't effective at all!
I followed him. I tried not to come near but I can't. I always want to see him.
Nandoon ako. Tuwing birthday niya. Tuwing magpapahinga siya. Tuwing may magandang nangyayari.
Pero habang lumilipas ang panahon, parang nasasakal ako sa kalokohan ko. I got tired of looking from afar and I tried to show up. Three and a half years. The first thing that he said to me was a dagger to my heart.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" With his goddamn cold and angry eyes!
He pushed me away. Damn it. I look really stupid that day.
But I didn't give up. I continued to show up almost every... three months.
Umaasa akong aamo siya at mapapagod kakataboy pero mas lalo lang siya nagalit.
"If I see you again here, I will never go down this goddamn ship." He said furiously in our last meeting.
He could easily say that to me despite leaving on his own will? Without even saying something to his boyfriend? I am not a pushover that he can easily throw!
Ah, talaga ba Mark?
Galit kong hinagis ang bag ko sa kama.
At ngayon ay nandito na naman ako Europe para lang sundan siya!
Well, I do this most of the time. Fuck it.
I'm afraid he'll see me in cruise again so I always wait in his stopover. Sinubukan kong sundin siya. Akala ko titigil na ako pero heto at baliw pa rin. He just wouldn't let me live in peace.
They'll have their vacation in Croatia this year. Isang buwan aabutin bago pumirma ulit ng kontrata. Syempre, plano ko agad na sundan sila.
Damn it.
Kung uubusin ko ang pera ko kakasunod sa kaniya, ayos lang. Kaya hindi pa sila nakakababa sa bansa, naghihintay na ako.
Gustong-gusto ko siyang kausapin dahil hanggang ngayon, sinusubukan ko pa rin unawain siya. I really can't make a move. I can't forget him. What do I do?
They went to a party in one of his collegue's hometown. Of course, I know where to wait. Thank God they celebrated in a resort. I am booked here for business leisure. Pero talaga namang hindi lang iyon ang dahilan.
Dumungaw ako sa bintana at nakita ko siyang lumalangoy sa pool. I noticed that he became more slimmer. Showing his naked top, I also notice some people staring in his body. Galit akong bumuntong hininga. Nandoon rin ang mga kaibigan niya at nagtatawanan sila. They seem really happy out of work. Sino ba namang hindi?
Naubos ang buong maghapon ko kakasunod sa kaniya. They went outside to visit some attractions. At kinagabihan, bumalik na sila sa Resort. They surely have a lot of energy. Open party iyon dahil marami yata sila dito. Nakita ko rin ang mga pamilyar na mukhang matagal niya na nakakasama sa barko.
I don't even know if he still has plans for me. But I know that he's not entertaining anyone. That's what his friend said though.
May kung anong uminit sa ulo ko nang makita ang pamilyar na mukha.
Nagsidatingan ang ilan pang bisita. Nakita ko si Navix na niyakap ang kapatid niya. Beside them, her husband and some familiar friends from the airline were greeting each other.
Kumuyom ang kamay ko nang matanaw si Dale na dumiretso kay Ian. They hugged. Halos magdabog ako nang makitang naupo silang dalawa sa isang table.
I'm sure that Dale don't do relationships. I once bought one of his family's property in Zambales so we know each other ever since. We have a lot of commom friends too.
Sobrang lawak ng pool area at meron pang bar sa gilid kaya naman sigurado akong hindi niya ako makikita.
He was drinking so much but I know that he doesn't get drunk easily. But the problem is someone's lingering round him. I couldn't stand it.
Mga isang oras ang lumipas, tumayo siya at nagpaalam na aalis. I don't know where but Dale followed him. Sinipat ko ang mga mga kaibigan niyang kumaway lang at nagpatuloy sa inuman.
They both went to the same direction so I immediately walk in the hall. Malayo iyon sa room ko. They went to the left wing so I followed them. I can hear them giggling and mumbling about something.
Happy, huh?
Nang huminto sila ay nagtago ako sa isang pasilyo.
Pumasok si Dale sa isang room niya siguro. They're still talking about something. Naiinis akong umirap dahil doon.
Nabunutan ako ng tinik nang dumiretso si Ian maglakad. He seems drunk too. Nakahawak sa pader para siguro alalayan ang sarili niya.
When he reached the room, he also stopped moving.
Mabilis siyang lumingon kaya hindi ako nakapagtago.
Tumalikod pa rin ako agad kasi hindi naman nagtama ang tingin namin.
Malutong na mura ang pinakawalan ko.
"My goddamn keys." Dinig kong angil niya.
Naglakad ako pabalik na parang wala lang. He's now walking in my back. He seems really drunk so I prayed that he didn't notice me. Huminto ako sa harap ng kwarto ko.
I can still feel him so I tried to take a glance.
Sinalubong ako ng matalim niyang titig bago nagmartsa palapit.
"What are you doing here?" Mariin niyang tanong.
Gulat ako dahil talaga palang nakita niya ako.
I'm sure you know the answer.
Hindi ako sumagot at binuksan ang pintuan ng kwarto. I was about to close the door when he tried to stop it.
Bumuntong hininga ako at nilingon siya. Humilig ako sa pintuan at tinitigan siyang mabuti na mukhang galit na naman. I thought he was drunk.
"Business travel." Palusot ko.
His smirk is telling me that what I said is not convincing.
Hinagod niya ang buhok niya at pagod na tumingin sa akin. Ibinaba ko ang tingin ko sa kamay niya. I noticed that he still wear my rings. Nabuhayan ako ng lot ibinalik ang tingin sa kaniya. Umaasang magkakausap kami ng maayos ngayon.
Pero bumuntong hininga siya at tumalikod na.
Natigilan ako at mabilis siyang hinawakan.
Para akong napaso sa init ng balat niya. Shit! I miss him.
"Wait."
He look so dissapointed. Malamig ang titig niya.
"Can we talk?" Marahan kong sabi.
"For what?"
For everything. I want you back. I want you home.
"About us..." Nag-iingat kong sabi.
BINABASA MO ANG
Pagsamo | 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘤𝘬
Fanfic"Hindi ako susubok kung hindi ikaw..." √ Finished - February 21, 2022 √ Written in English and Tagalog √ Edited Version • • • NOTE: The book is purely created in the author's mind. Some places in the book were real but most of it is not. This is not...
