The Heartthrob That Can't Walk

Chapter 32

Eating my breakfast in my office. Puyat na puyat ako kakaisip. Ilang beses kong gusto ulit siyang panoorin mula sa malayo. Pero pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko. Pakiramdam ko kasi natatakot na siya. I don’t want her to feel that way. She been through a lot.

“So, son. What is your fucking plan?”

“C’mon mom!” my head form a wave because of her questions.

“What? I told you before that it’s not a good idea to leave. Now suffer.  So, what’s your plan?” she asked as she took a sip of her juice.

“Well…I don’t know yet. I’m just watching her from afar.” I spoke.

She laughed, “deserve!”

“Mom!” I called in frustration, “I’ll hang up now.” Inis kong pinatay ang video call.

I grab my car keys. Hindi ko dala ang motor ko. I hope she wouldn’t notice. I forehead crease when I saw the fast-food chain is close. I forgot it’s Sunday. She might be resting for now.

I decided to leave and eat drive thru. Huminto ako sa isang park para kumain. While eating I can’t stop thinking of her. I badly want to see her.

My eyes widen when I saw her riding a bike. I blink many times. I even slap myself. Baka namamalik mata lang ako kakaisip sa kaniya. Mabilis kong tinabi ang pagkain. Sinundan ko ang bisekleta niya.

Huminto siya sa isang tindahan. Binigay niya ang kahon…ng gatas. She’s still working?!

Bumaba ako sa kotse para mas makita siya ng maayos. Medyo  yumuko ako at nagtago sa likuran ng kotse. I curse under my breath. Nasagi ako dahilan para mawalan ng balanse. Agad naman akong naka tayo, hindi naman sobrang lakas.

“Pasensya na hijo!” paumanhin ni manong may dala dala siyang kariton. ‘Yon ata ang na pang sagi sa’kin.

“Ayos lang po, sige una na po kayo.” Bahagya ako tumabi. Ngumiti lang siya bago umalis.

I brush my fingers on my hair. Ang init rito. Bumuntong hininga ako at muling hinanap ang kanina ko pa sinusundan.

Our eyes lock.

She’s in front of me. I gulped in nervousness. I’m so doomed. I thought she’s going to stare at me with anger. But I was wrong. Her eyes were full of sadness. She smiled. My heart wants to get out of my rib cage. Anong gagawin ko?

“Uh…--” na pako ako nang mabitawan niya ang bisikleta at tumakbo papunta sa’kin.

I felt pain. God, what did I do to receive love from this woman? I cause her a lot of pain yet she’s here running towards me.

Hindi siya huminto, hanggang sa tumama nalang siya sa dibdib ko. Fuck. I hugged her back. I can’t take it anymore! I know I promised. I promise that I’ll just watch her and be contented with that. But…I guess I’m really selfish.

My hug tighten as I sniff her hair. I miss her warm, I miss her smell. I miss everything. I miss her, inside my arms.

Dahan dahan siyang humiwalay. Tumingala siya sa’kin. She flash a sweet smile. But I can still see how sad her eyes are. 

“Magaling kana! Nakaklakad kana!” she shout while looking at me from head to toe.

“Yeah, I can walk now…” shit ang hina ng boses ko!

Bigla niyang binitawan ang braso ko. I saw her nervous expression. She bit her lip and look at me. What’s wrong? Did I say something bad?

“Sorry!”

My forehead crease, “for what? I’m the one shoul—”

“Na dumihan tuloy.” Turo niya sa coat ko.