Mon loup // Thiam one shot

Mon loup

I know i shouldn't. It's wrong. But the feeling of him being so close feels so right. 

Theo is the enemy. With killing Scott and betraying us, but still i can't just hate him. From the start when i first saw him I felt something warm inside me, right in my chest. Then whenever he touched me even if it was by accident, i felt butterflies who were having a party in my stomach. Then i understood that I've fallen in love with Theo Reaken. I understood that i wanted to have with him every thing that every couple have. But unfortunetly, we can't always have what we want. I wanted love, he wanted only good sex. 

After some time, I felt just to wrong with myself. Like I was just a toy which he could play whenever he wanted. I felt so used. I wanted to feel loved. In any way possibile. But now i understand that he'll never feel the same way about me. The same way i feel about him. And that's hurting like a bitch.

And now coming to the place we are always coming to hook up, thinking about breaking off whatever is this, I start to feel like I'm doing something wrong. But I can't go back now.

***

It was a library. Yeah, maybe that's not the best place to meet up to have sex, but in the night it's so calm and dark there. I've always liked to come to library. It helped me to calm my nerves, but unluckily it wasn't helping me so much right now.

Then I felt strong arms wrapped around me from behind. Instinctievly i wanted to relax inside his embrace like I always did, but I couldn't. Not when I want to get my heart saved from heartbreak. Theo sensing the change in my chemosignals, asks me what's wrong.

''We have to end whatever it is between us.'' I said hesitantly turning around so he could see my face, but I closed my eyes not wanting to look at his blankly beautiful face. I scolded myself internally. No emotions Liam, no emotions.

There was a silence for a moment. At first I immedietly wanted to open my eyes to see what's wrong, but then he spoke up.

''What changed your mind? You don't like sex anymore? You feel uncomfortable with something I'm doing? We can talk about it and change things to things you will feel comfortable with.'' He burst out. Well, I didn't expect that. I don't think I've ever heard him asking so many questions in one sentance. I slowly opened my eyes taking for the probably last time, his beauty. I couldn't read anything from the look on his face. He said it in an almost worried tone. My mind acrossed the thought that maybe, just maybe  he doesn't want this thing between us come to the end but then, once again - Theo doesn't feel the way I do. He never showed any care for me. I was nothing but a toy fuck to him and now when I want to leave, he's suddenly  playing a 'caring Theo' card. This makes me angry, because now I know that I was only a person that takes care of his sexual desires. The anger goes away and it's replaced by sadness. I blame myself for falling for this jerk standing right in front of me.

''There's nothing you do that makes me  uncomfortable, Theo. I just-'' I stopped. I didn't want to tell him the truth because then it will lead to a conversation that I don't want to happen. Not when I know I'll end up being rejected. I never  handled rejection. I preferred to prevent bigger heartbreaks. I got so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even noticed that Theo is closer to me now.

''You just what, little beta?'' He whispered smirking. His nose almost touching mine. God, it turned me on so bad. No, no, no, bad Liam! There's a important conversation going on, you mustn't have a boner right now! Focous!

I slightly turned my face away, to the other side, away from his.''I just can't keep going on like this. For goddamn sake, we're enemies, you killed Scott and manipuleted the whole pack including me. That thing between us should've never even happend!'' I yelled, angrier with every word I shouted. I guess my anger isuess kicked in. I regreted every word I said in a minute after I realized what did i just do.