LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY BECOME TELEPATHIC
by DanKitti and KC
Laverne and Shirley were Perfect Strangers until they started Moonlighting at the Taxi company and discovered they were actually twins separated at birth. Their revelation of their Family Ties gave them a lot of Good Times and many Happy Days.
Then one day, their boss gave them the Facts of Life. They could no longer work two jobs, and they would have to choose one or the other.
Laverne looked at Shirley, and Shirley looked at Laverne. At that moment, they realized they could read each other’s thoughts and so began a telepathic conversation.
“Who needs either job?” thought Laverne to Shirley.
“Right”, thought Shirley back, “with this ability, we can make our living as a mind-reading magic act, or better yet, we can relay messages for people in places where phones or radios aren’t available.”
“Surely we can do better than that,” responded Laverne, “but first let’s have some fun with the boss before we tell him we quit.”
So they walked into the boss’s office. Mr. Belvedere, their boss, had been embezzling company funds in a way that absolutely no one could possibly have found out, without reading his mind.
“Hi, Mr. Belvedere,” Laverne said, “It’s amazing how you can live such an extravagant life on such a measly salary you make here.”
“Of course, it’s not so difficult to make ends meet when you’re embezzling funds,” Shirley added.
Just at that moment, Shirley sensed Mrs. Belvedere dialing to call her husband on the telephone, asking him to run an errand. “That’s your wife,” Shirley announced.
“You know, those dry cleaning bills are ridiculous,” Laverne moaned.
“Not to mention those unscrupulous auto mechanics,” Shirley sarcastically stated.
Right then, Mr. Belvedere’s phone rang, and it was indeed his wife, telling him to pick up her dress at the dry cleaners because her car had to go into the shop that afternoon.
“Hold it, you two! Nobody leaves this office until I find out exactly what’s going on here.” And he realized that the only way Laverne and Shirley they could have known, without being telepathic.
Mr. Belvedere had a greedy look in his eye. “Hmmm, I’m sure there’s lots of money to be made in this,” he thought. Then realizing that they had just read his mind, he continued to think, this time his thoughts directly aimed at the two girls. “I’m sure you realize that you need someone like me to manage your abilities. You know you’ll do better with me, than on your own.”
Of course Laverne and Shirley could secretly communicate with each other without the boss knowing what they were saying, even if he knew they were communicating with each other.
“What do you think, Shirl?” beamed Laverne telepathically.
Shirley responded with, “You know he’ll rip us off, the first chance he gets, but we can play along just for fun, and give him false information just when he needs it most.”
So they agreed to let Mr. Belvedere manage them. The first thing they did was contact Hayley Mills. It seems Hayley Mills was going to star in a film to be called “The Absent-Minded Parent-Trapping Professor Darns That Cat”, which was to also star Zsa Zsa Gabor and Charles Nelson Reilley. But Charles had been out of touch with Hayley. If Laverne and Shirley could get Charles and Zsa Zsa together, then Hayley would tell everybody about Laverne and Shirley’s psychic abilities in her upcoming autobiography someone was currently writing for her. As fate would have it, Charles Nelson Reilley and Zsa Zsa Gabor were having lunch at a local restaurant when the waiter called them to the phone.
