Chupacabra | 18+ | ✔️

▪︎■ 39 ■▪︎

▪︎■ Ainara Moreno ■▪︎

My back rested against the wooden material as I heard every word he said, while my heart ached to just open this fucking door. I was fighting against my fear, thoughts spiraling downwards. Until he said those last words.

Weakly I got on my feet, turning around before carefully grabbing the lock. I took a last breath before I heard the click and the door already opened. I felt deep shame when I met his eyes but he just looked relieved. What did I do to deserve him?

I took a step out of the room and my strengh immediately left me. Before I could fall I felt his strong hands steadying me.

"Adrin, I-"

"You have to sit down," he murmured before gently carrying me into the private room I ran away from.

As soon as I sat on the bed, I felt myself gaining a little strengh back to speak.

"I'm sorry... I want to be innocent... and pure but... I'm not."

My voice became broken and fragile, tears welled up in my eyes and without a warning they escaped. Speaking felt almost impossible, every word was painfully suffocating my throat.

"I'm... not."

The man embraced me with his strong arms, where I finally could give in to the weakness. I cried, suppressing the ugly sobs into his shirt.
"I got you, Nara. I'm here."

That made me cry even more. The soothing words heeling another little part inside me, leaving my heart spreading warmth through my body. I knew how selfish it was to let him take care of me, to burden him with what I was about to tell him. I knew he had his own trauma and that my pain wasn't his to deal with. It really was selfish but I wanted to use the last moment where everything was the same. Were he saw me as a women I would never be and never had been. He soothed the pain and I was aware it wouldn't last.

"But you- you shouldn't, Adrin. I'm... I'm not g-good," I choked out.

His fingers drew calming circles on my back while his other hand held my head carefully against his chest.

"I killed, I tortured, I hurt people, too. I'm not good either, love."

I sobbed hysterically, desperately grabbing the fabric of his shirt. My body didn't want to let go. I feared that he would, when I told him everthing. So I clawed into him as long as I could.

"You- you don't understand... That's n-not the only thing I meant..."

He kissed the top of my head, then slightly lifted my chin with gentle fingers to meet his eyes. It was astounding for me to see him being this soft and gentle with me, while I on the other hand just did a step backwards by shutting him out moments ago. And he still looked just relieved.

"Tell me every mistake, every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you, anyway."

His confession didn't surprise me. Because he never had to say it, he showed me. To say it meant nothing, when there was no behavior that proved it. But hearing him say it and acting like he truly meant it, made my heart flutter and tear apart at the same time.

Do you really think someone could ever like you with your past?

We stared into each others eyes.

"I-," I began and I knew I wasn't ready to say it, too. I'd said it so many times- far more times without than with any meaning, only purpose. Until it felt like nothing but a lie to me. Whenever I said it to Elia I did it in Spanish, it was the only way where it felt real- true, to me.